Different Now
by crazygirl46
Summary: What happens when Rachel and Quinn meet for the first time since the car accident that changed their lives, over three years down the road in New York? Post 3x14 AU Faberry.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is a little rough, but I thought I would submit it and see if there is any interest before I continue. Criticism is welcome, but please try to make it constructive. Please review and tell me what you think!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own glee, spamalot etc**

**Chapter One – An Unexpected Encounter**

Rachel finished applying the last of her makeup and examined herself in the mirror. Gone was the unfashionable, argyle-wearing Rachel Berry from high school –she wore an off the shoulder shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans. Long raven hair fell past her shoulders. Flicking said hair back, she turned around and faced the door.

"Kurt! Ready to go? We don't want to be late for our audition!" She walked briskly out the door into the front foyer, tapping her toe impatiently as she waited for her best friend and roommate.

She and Kurt had been best friends since their senior year of high school in Lima, Ohio. They had both been in Glee Club, both won the national championship, and were both accepted into the New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts the following year. It was only natural that they rent a small apartment together to keep down costs.

It hadn't always been easy – even Rachel would admit that she could be a tad dramatic and high maintenance at times – but all in all the arrangement had worked well for the three years they had been living in New York City.

A door down the hall slammed shut as an impeccably dressed Kurt Hummel made a beeline for the door.

"Sorry about that, you know how I am about having my hair right for auditions." Kurt looked stylish as usual, in some slimming black pants and a button up shirt and tie.

"Kurt, I don't think I have to tell you that your hair is always perfect. Let's just admit that you spent a few too many minutes admiring yourself in the mirror and lost track of time. Now come on, I looked up the schedule and if we don't catch this bus there won't be another one for 46 minutes, making us approximately 32 minutes late for the auditions." Rachel took a deep breath.

"Okay, okay. Don't start hyperventilating on me – I don't want all this prep to go to waste." Kurt gave her a sideways grin as they left the apartment, careful to lock the door securely behind them. Kurt had already forgotten to lock the door once, and even though nothing went missing Rachel was now firmly convinced that the whole apartment was bugged. Something about exclusive footage that people could sell once her career took off…

A long elevator ride later and short walk later, Kurt and Rachel stood waiting for the bus. They were on their way to try out for a production of Spamalot put on by a group that operated out of NYU. Rachel would be trying out for the role of Lady of the Lake (practically the only female role in the whole production), while Kurt was hoping for Sir Lancelot. Although they had both been in many NYADA productions during their time in New York, roles outside of the academy were much harder to come by, especially from theatre groups with as good of a reputation as the one putting on Spamalot.

Rachel took several deep breaths, attempting to calm herself for her audition. Normally, the diva thrived on performing for an audience. She had most of the Broadway classics in her back pocket, and even though it was little more recent, Spamalot was no exception. Her Dads liked to say that she had started singing before she started talking.

Still, at moments like these she couldn't help but think back to her first botched audition for NYADA during her senior year of high school. Of course, the situation had been entirely different. There were other things on Rachel's mind back in high school that were distracting her from the performance.

_What ever happened to my part?  
It was exciting at the start.  
Now we're halfway through Act 2  
And I've had nothing yet to do._

_I've been offstage for far too long_  
_It's ages since I had a song._  
_This is one unhappy Diva_  
_The producer's have deceived her._  
_There is nothing I can sing from my heart._  
_Whatever Happened to My Part?_

_I am sick of my career_  
_Always starting second gear_  
_Up to here, with frustration and with fears._  
_I've no Grammy no Rewards,_  
_I've no Tony Awards,_  
_I'm Constantly replaced with Britney Spears_

_Whatever Happened to My Show?_  
_I was a hit, now I don't know._  
_I'm with a bunch of British Knights,_  
_Prancing 'round in woolly tights._

* * *

Quinn was late. She blamed public transit – it was a pain for most New Yorkers, but doubly so for her. Looking at her watch, she decided to send off a quick text to her best friend Chris: _Running late, be there in 10. Start without me – Q_

She adjusted her beret for the 10th time – a habit she had developed over the last several years. After finally getting off the bus at her desired stop, it only took another 5 minutes to arrive at her destination.

The building wasn't much to look like on the outside, but it was suitable for the purposes of her group – at least, for now. Peeling paint and a tired looking bill board greeted her on her way through the front doors.

Making it down the ramp to the inner entrance she paused for a moment, hearing a voice from inside. It appeared that Chris had taken her at her word. She started to open the door but froze, listening more closely to the voice she had heard before.

_I might as well go to the Pub!  
They've been out searching for a shrub.  
Out shopping for a Bush,  
Well they can kiss my Tush!  
It seems to me they've really lost the plot…_

It was a girl, singing. That wasn't unexpected, but Quinn felt a strange sense of familiarity as she listened to the voice. Only one girl could belt out notes in such a strong, confident, yet perfectly beautiful manner. _It couldn't be…could it_?

_Whatever Happened to My -  
I'll Call my Agent, Dammit!  
Whatever Happened to My-  
Not Yours, Not Yours,  
But My,  
Part!_

Hesitantly, she opening the door and moved down the centre aisle so she could see the stage clearly. _It is_. There she was - dead centre of the stage, belting out the last note as if her life depended on it. Rachel Berry.

As she finished the last note, Rachel's eyes traveled downward, presumably to gauge the reactions of the production team, who were sitting in the audience. She only made it partway there before her attention was diverted by Quinn, who was still waiting in the centre of the aisle. They locked eyes. Rachel's widened in shock, a look of confusion settling across her face.

"Quinn Fabray?" She half gasped, half whispered.

The blood drained from her face, turning white as a sheet before she fainted dead away.

Quinn, sitting in her wheelchair, could only watch as she fell to the stage.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews last chapter, they made my week! I've always thought that the show kind of downplayed the consequences of Quinn's crash, so I'm hoping to explore a lot of that here. I couldn't find many fanfics where she didn't recover fully, so I decided to try to write one myself. Quinn may be in a wheelchair, but that doesn't mean she can't have a fulfilling and romantic life :D **

**I did a little bit of research, but I don't know a ton about wheelchairs or spinal cord injuries so please feel free to correct me if I'm portraying anything inaccurately (it doesn't really come up in this chapter, but it will in the future). **

**This isn't a terribly long update, but I promise there will be more Faberry next chapter (yay!)**

**Any type of constructive criticism is welcome!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own glee**

Chapter 2 – I can't do this

Quinn watched helplessly as Rachel Berry's limp body fell to the stage with an audible thump. The rest of her production crew were still glued to their seats, confused looks on their faces. Coming to her senses, Quinn rolled over to where they were sitting.

"Don't just sit there, you idiots!" She practically hissed. "Go help her!"

They stared, surprised at this show of anger. This was a side of Quinn Fabray they had never seen before. Ever since Quinn had started hanging out with the theatre group in her first year of university, she had been nothing but kind, though sometimes a little distant. Any anger she felt was normally conveyed through a stern look, not this type of angry outburst.

When she first came to NYU, Quinn had been fairly reclusive, keeping to herself in her residence single room and avoiding other students in the building. Social interactions had been limited to nods and smiles in the hallway, or saying hello while brushing her teeth in the bathroom.

That had all changed one day near the end of her second month in New York.

_An urgent knock on her door momentarily brought Quinn out of a doze. She had fallen asleep reading her chemistry textbook, again. The knock came again, louder and more insistent this time. Strange, Quinn didn't really know anyone on campus – she considered it a good day if she could remember the names of her next door neighbours. Still, it would be rude not to answer. Quinn opened the door to find a skinny boy her own age with a stressed look on his face. _

_"Can I come in?" He looked down the hall, where the stairway door was starting to open. "Shit, there's no time – please?" His big, puppy dog brown eyes pleaded desperately for her help._

_Quinn barely had time to let out a hesitant, wide eyed nod before he was bolting past her, diving under her bed. Mere seconds later, yet another boy was at her door, trying to peer into the room. _

_"Can I help you?" Quinn asked dryly, confused yet strangely amused by the series of events unfolding before her. _

_"Uh yah. Did another guy come by here just now? I mean, is he hiding somewhere around here?" He scratched his head, looking a little embarrassed. _

_Quinn gave him her best 'What the hell are you on?' look, one eyebrow slightly raised above the other. For some reason, she had a huge urge to help out the strange boy with the courage to barge in and dive under her bed. _

_"No…" She kept the look on, her jaw creaking as she tried her best not to break into a smile and give it all away._

_"Oh." The boy looked disappointed. "Well, thanks for your help anyways." He gave her a half-hearted smile before wandering down the hallway._

_Quinn closed the door, helplessly chuckling as she turned around to find her fugitive crawling out from underneath her bed. He was covered in dust, but grinning hapily. _

_"Thanks for helping a desperate guy out. It's Quinn right? I'm Chris." He struck out his hand._

_She shook it somewhat warily. "So, what was that all about? If it's safe to ask that is." She teased gently._

_He laughed "It's just this game we're playing in res. It's kind of like a giant game of tag, and that guy has my name – I've been avoiding him for days. He can only catch me if no one else hears though – maybe you can help keep me safe?"_

_"Deal."_

She had quickly become good friends with Chris, and eventually many of the other theatre and drama students in her residence. With their encouragement, she had become involved in the production and direction of various productions put on by different groups from the university.

Although Quinn considered these people some of her best friends, they had never seen her angry like this before. Fear of this new, scarier Quinn quickly overcame any remaining shock, as they jumped up and ran towards the stage. Satisfied that her directions were being followed, Quinn went about the painful process of making her way there herself.

This was one of those situations where being in a wheelchair was just plain inconvenient. To get to the stage, Quinn had to go to a far corner of the room and get out a special key that allowed her to use an elevator to get up the equivalent of half a storey. By the time she made her way to the center of the stage where Rachel had collapsed, her friends had already formed a small circle around the brunette. Quinn nudged several of them aside so she could get a better look.

Rachel Berry had changed a great deal from the unpopular young woman Quinn remembered from high school. Along with more fashionable clothes, her eyes and face were covered in much more makeup than she had ever used in high school, giving her a much more mature look. Somehow, Quinn had imagined that the way Rachel looked would never change, that she would continue wearing reindeer sweaters and knee high tights her whole life.

Chris took Rachel's head into his lap, searching for any signs of injury. "I think she's fine Quinn. I didn't see her hit anything when she fell."

"Did she come with anyone?" Quinn's tone was terse, her eyes still focused on Rachel.

"Uh I think so," her friend and assistant for this production Brandon hurriedly flipped through the audition signup sheet he had on his clipboard. "Ah yes, she did. Should I get him? Or maybe we should just call an ambulance? I know Chris thinks she's okay, but this whole situation makes me really nervous…" He trailed off as Rachel started to stir. "Nevermind."

Everyone looked at Quinn for direction in what to do next. Outwardly, she was still staring at the young actress lying at the floor, like she was in some sort of strange trance. Inside, Quinn was panicking. This girl represented a part of her life that she had successfully avoided for the past three years. She wasn't about to stop now. She couldn't stop now.

She looked over at Chris, eyes pleading "I can't do this. Brandon, go find the boy she came with, make sure he takes care of her. Chris, you're in charge overseeing the rest of the auditions for today. I just, I can't do this right now."

"Quinn?" Rachel was becoming more aware of her surroundings now, her eyes starting to flutter open as she tried to focus on the image of Quinn in her wheelchair.

"Goodbye Rachel." Quinn's tone was cold as she quickly turned her chair and started to leave.

"Quinn, wait! What do you mean you can't do this? Are you okay?" Chris tried asking as she made her way off the stage, but Quinn was determined not to look back. She had to get out of here.

Quinn could feel the eyes of her crew on her back as she wheeled towards the doors, but she didn't look back. There would be hell to pay for this later, but for now she had to leave.

* * *

Rachel pushed herself up on her elbows, still feeling weak as she strained to get a better view of Quinn leaving the theatre. Part of her was convinced that her brain had made up that view of Quinn rolling into the room in her wheelchair. Rachel couldn't count the number of times over the years that she had 'seen' Quinn in a crowd, only to discover seconds later that it was just her overactive imagination.

If there was one person who shaped Rachel's teenage years, it was Quinn Fabray. They had both gone to the same high school in Lima, Ohio, Quinn playing the part of popular head cheerleader to Rachel's unpopular musical theatre geek. The head cheerleader had tortured her relentlessly for years before they eventually became friends through their participation in glee club.

Rachel hadn't seen Quinn for over three years, but not a single day had gone by where she didn't think about her.

Quinn had disappeared from sight now, the theatre door shut behind her. Rachel tried to get up and failed, still feeling weak. She could feel her arms shaking, in effort or shock she couldn't tell.

A tall, lanky man with a mop of brown curls and big brown eyes helped her to her feet, looking a little anxious.

"Are you alright?"

She nodded, still trembling. "I uh, I have to go after Quinn. She's upset and she's in a wheelchair, and…" she trailed off in a whisper, her eyes starting to water a little. She just kept seeing that image of Quinn in her wheelchair. A part of her had always feared that, but for some reason it was still a huge shock.

The man gave her a sympathetic, although still somewhat confused look and took her hand, looking at Rachel earnestly.

"Ok, I'm Chris, choreographer. I can see you're upset, but Rachel you just passed out in the middle of an audition – I can't just let you leave. My friend Brandon just went to go get the guy you came with so he can make sure you get home."

Rachel took a deep breath, trying to get her tears under control. "But…Quinn…" she gestured towards the door helplessly.

"Can take care of herself." Chris assured her. "But, I have to admit, I'm a little confused about what's going on here. I don't get it. How do you know each other? She seemed like she recognized you, but then she just said 'I can't' and left. No offense, but I don't think she wanted you to follow."

Rachel sighed sadly, running a hand through her hair before turning to look him in the eyes.

"Of course she didn't want me to follow. After all, it's my fault she's stuck in that wheelchair."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – Some Explaining to Do**

**A/N: Sorry I didn't get this up sooner! It's a lot longer than the other chapters, so hopefully that makes up for it. Please let me know if you have any suggestions, thoughts or constructive criticisms! **

**Since I can't send you guys a message, thanks to my anonymous reviewers t and guest. t, I'm not sure I understand your question, but if you rephrase it I can try to answer.**

_Rachel sighed sadly, running a hand through her hair before turning to look him in the eyes. _

_"Of course she didn't want me to follow. After all, it's my fault she's stuck in that wheelchair." _

"Wait, what? I thought Quinn was in a car accident?" Chris was wide eyed after Rachel's declaration of guilt, looking even more confused than before, if such a thing was possible.

"She was in that car because of me, and I was the one she was texting when she crashed. I'm responsible." Trying to get a grip on her emotions, Rachel narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Do you even know Quinn? I'm pretty sure you would know who I was if you did. And if you don't know Quinn, how do you know that she can take care of-"

"I do know Quinn, she's my best friend." Chris cut Rachel off. "She doesn't like to talk about her past, and I've come to respect that. All she has ever told me about her life before university is that she was in a car accident in high school and that's how she ended up in the chair."

"That's it?" Rachel was too surprised to say anything else.

Even after Quinn had cut them off, she had always thought…She didn't know what she had thought, but she never imagined that her friend would try to forget the entirety of her time at McKinley. _Was it really that horrible? Glee club was a family - I thought that meant something to her. Didn't our friendship mean anything to her?_

"I'm guessing you went to school together?"

"We were in glee club together." Rachel confirmed "And we were, we were friends I think. Or at least I always wanted to be her friend. Quinn took a while to convince, but-"

Chris cut her off again. "Look Rachel. As tempted as I am to hear about Quinn's past from you, I feel like I would be violating her trust if I let you continue."

As Rachel nodded weakly, another form hurried over to where she was standing on the stage.

"Rachel! Are you okay?" It was Kurt, looking flushed and very concerned. "They said you just passed out during your audition?"

Rachel nodded, still looking subdued.

"I knew it! I knew you haven't been taking care of yourself properly, and don't think I haven't noticed that you keep forgetting to take your iron supplements. I notice this type of thing Rachel. I know you're focused on your career right now, but neglecting personal care is not going to help." He threw his hands us helplessly and turned to Chris, who was standing awkwardly off to the side.

"I am so sorry for disrupting your auditions like this. Rachel may be a little crazy," Rachel looked like she wanted to protest, but Kurt made a shushing motion "-but this level of insanity unusual even for her."

"Don't worry about it, I'm just glad that she's okay. If I had gotten that type of shock I probably would have passed out too." Chris shyly shoved his hands in his pockets as he talked, trying not to get distracted by Kurt's outfit, which somehow managed to pull off a hippo broche.

Kurt raised his eyebrows, confused. "What do you mean, 'that type of shock'?"

rqrq

_Don't stop believin'  
Hold on to the feelin'  
Streetlights people-_

Quinn shut her laptop abruptly, cutting the video off as she heard the apartment door open and close. Chris was home. They had been shared this apartment since their second year of university.

_Crap. How am I supposed to explain this? _She briefly considered retreating to her room, but decided that it would only prolong the inevitable. Making her way to their main living area, which consisted of a joined kitchen and living room, she reluctantly made eye contact.

"Hey."

"Hi." His big brown eyes were concerned. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

An awkward silence fell over the room.

"Look, Chris-"

"Quinn, I-"

They both started talking at once, then stopped. Que awkward silence number two. This is what Quinn had been dreading. _I should just go for it. But what am I supposed to say? Sorry I intentionally never told you anything about my past even though you're the best friend I've ever had? Right, that'll work._

As had so often been the case in their friendship, Chris ended up taking the first step.

"Rachel told me you went to high school together, that you were in glee club together."

"What else did she tell you?"

"Just that she thinks it's her fault that you're in a wheelchair."

"That's not really what-"

"I know, I'm guessing there's more to the story. But you're not going to tell me, are you? You know I respect your right to leave the past in the past, but this is getting ridiculous Quinn. I'm worried about you."

"That makes two of us."

"No, that makes three of us. She's worried about you too."

"Rachel's a strong girl, she'll get over it."

Chris sighed, looking frustrated at Quinn's circle of evasion. She felt a little guilty, but she was prepared to keep doing it if she had too. _Uh oh._ Chris was giving her one of his rare, super serious looks. This was going to be hard to resist.

"Ok, Quinn, I'm going to give it to you straight. You know I respect you too much to coddle you."

"You know I love that about you."

"I do. So here's the deal. I know you only caught the end, but Rachel's audition was, in a word, _amazing_. She blew everyone else we've auditioned for that role out of the water. Plus, she's from NYADA, so I know she'll probably be pretty good at picking up choreography. The rest of the team agrees that she's the clear choice for the part."

"I'm the director, you can't just-"

"Just let me finish, okay? Having said all of that, you are an great director, and we don't want to lose you. Ultimately the final decision on if we cast Rachel has to come from you, as it should. I just want you to consider what a difference having her would make in terms of boosting the quality of our production before you make your final decision."

He went to his room, leaving Quinn alone with her thoughts in the kitchen.

rqrq

"I hereby call this emergency meeting of the glee club girls and Kurt to order!"

Rachel sat on the couch in her living room. Kurt was next to her, across from the couch on the love seat were their friends and former glee-clubbers Brittany and Santana, cuddling. Two laptops set on a table displayed the faces of Tina Cohen-Chang and Mercedes, also fellow glee club members who had joined them via skype from LA.

"I know that I haven't called a meeting like this since that time I wanted to know if I should have sex with Finn – not good advice, by the way – but we have an unprecedented situation on our hands. Kurt already knows the details, as he helped me recover from the aftermath this afternoon."

Silence filled the room as Rachel took a deep breath.

"Today I went to an audition, for a role in Spamalot, which is being put on by one of the NYU theatre groups. I was of course, auditioning for the only major female role, the Lady-"

"Is there a point to this?" Santana raised an impatient eyebrow.

"Yes, there is. There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to come out with it. I saw Quinn today. She's directing the show I went to audition for."

Rachel might as well have set off a bomb for all of the chaos that ensued.

"How did we not know she's in New York?"

"Are you sure you're not just imagining this again? It wouldn't be the first time..."

"Was she okay? How did she look?"

"Did you talk? I need details!"

Rachel started to feel overwhelmed, not sure where to start in answering all of the questions, especially when she still had so many herself. After a few minutes of chaos, Kurt seemingly took pity on her and quieted down the group.

"Ladies, ladies! I know you want details, but this hasn't been easy for Rachel either, okay? Let her tell you what she knows, and then you can ask questions. Rachel?"

"Thanks Kurt," she threw him an appreciative glance. "To be honest, I really don't know that much. I was just finishing my audition song, and the door at the back of the theatre opened. Quinn came through it, and she was…she was in a wheelchair." Rachel's voice started to quiver as she thought of Quinn's situation.

"I was obviously quite shocked, and I'm embarrassed to say admit that I passed out on the stage. When I came to, she was just leaving, so I didn't get to talk to her. I've since been informed that she is the director of the musical. The choreographer helped me out, and apparently they're best friends, but he says she never talks about high school. Like, ever. He didn't even know that she was in glee, which frankly I find quite disturbing. That's pretty much all I know. He said that she seemed upset about seeing me and decided to leave early. Later on he explained to Kurt and I that she's directing the musical."

The room was silent for several moments. Brittany was the first to speak up.

"She'll never be able to dance again." Rachel could see the blond's lower lip quivering as she snuggled into Santana, who actually looked a little angry.

"So that's it? The reason that she hasn't talked to us in three years is that she just decided it's just easier to ignore everything that happened to her in high school? Did she think we'd make a big deal of the chair or something? _Hello, Artie_."

"I'm sure it's not that simple, Santana." Tina as always, was trying to be a voice of reason. "Rachel, did he say why she never talks about it? Does she have amnesia? Or maybe some other sort of head trauma?"

"She doesn't have amnesia, she definitely recognized me. He didn't really say much about her, I think he felt like he would be …betraying a confidence or something like that if he gave away too much information. He did explain that she's the director when I finally got around to asking what she was doing there, but that was pretty much it."

"What about Beth?" Mercedes questioned "We all know that she loved that little girl. Is she really denying that Beth happened as well?"

"Ladies, I don't know what to tell you. I really do not know much more than you at this point. The real reason I called you here was not only to tell you, but also to talk about what my next steps should be now that we have a way of finding her."

Santana's unique brand of advice was first. Rachel had a feeling that it wouldn't be terribly useful.

"Why should be going after her? Look, I get it. It sucks that she's stuck in a wheelchair, and that Rachel feels guilty about it. But I didn't do any wrong. Let's not forget, she just cut us out of her life for three years without a word of explanation. If she wants to see us again, she should be the one to make the first move."

"That's just it, I don't' think she does want to see us again."

"Screw her then." The Latina shrugged angrily.

Rachel gasped, horrified. Brittany attempted to soften the blow.

"Doesn't listen to San, she's just sad and hurt and angry that Quinn didn't talk to us for so long, and that we didn't find her before you. I'm just sad. I think we should try to cheer Quinn up."

"Okay, any other ideas, maybe some actual useful ones?"

She looked towards the table, where the laptops displaying Mercedes and Tina sat.

"Hell to the no. I'm not getting blamed when you screw up whatever advice I give you. I do think we have to pursue this though. Quinn's family, and she needs to know that."

"I'm with Mercedes." Tina shrugged helplessly. "I want to help Quinn too, but I have no idea where we should start here."

With that hugely unhelpful tidbit, Rachel turned to Kurt, hoping that he at least would have something useful to say. He just shrugged helplessly, adjusting his hair.

Rachel sighed. Why was she the one who always had to take charge with this sort of thing? People thought it was because of her ego, but really it was just because everyone else was completely unwilling or inadequate.

"Well, this was _vastly_ unhelpful. I think for now, I should be the only one who tries to make contact. We don't want to overwhelm Quinn with too much at once. We'll adjourn for now, but I'll keep you updated." Rachel looked around the room, surprised that there were no protests from the others.

It was only after everyone had left that Rachel realized what had truly been missing at the meeting. Quinn had always given the best advice for these sorts of things. If only Rachel could get her advice now.

rqrq

Quinn knocked on Chris's door several hours later, her mind finally made up. _I can do this. It's for the best. _

He opened the door seconds later, his face red and sleepy looking.

"Sorry I woke you up."

"No problem, what's up Q-bear?"

"Can we talk? I made tea."

"You know we too well. I could never resist tea." He joked, obviously trying to put her at ease.

Quinn appreciated the effort, but it was pretty difficult to not be nervous for this conversation. By the time they had situated themselves (and their tea) around the kitchen table, she was tapping her fingers nervously along the arm of her chair.

"So…?" Chris questioned lightly, his eyebrows almost disappearing into those brown ringlets of hair.

"So, I've decided. About Rachel."

"Are you sure? It's okay if you want to take more time."

"That's sweet. But, I think that would just make the whole situation more difficult. And the reality is, I know Rachel's talent, and even if she hadn't improved since high school, she would still be n inspired choice. I think we should cast her."

"You're really okay with that? You seemed pretty upset about it before."

"And I appreciate you looking out for me like that. But this is going to be strictly professional. I'll be courteous, but I'm not interested in reliving the past, and I need to make sure she understands that."

Chris raised a skeptical eyebrow. "I'm not sure how easy that's going to be, and I'm not going to pretend I understand, but I respect your decision."

"Thanks. And I just want to let you know how much I appreciate you not pushing this whole deal about my past. I feel like I owe you a bit of an explanation."

"I would be lying if I said I wasn't curious, but you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"I'll give you the short version." Quinn looked down at her lap nervously, then took a slow sip of her tea before looking Chris in the eyes.

Rachel and I went to high school together, along with Kurt. I was…I was a_ really_ different person then. I basically made Rachel's life hell for the first couple of years of high school, for a lot of reasons that I wasn't prepared to face at the time."

Those bushy eyebrows were up again. Chris was obviously dying to say something.

"What is it?" Quinn questioned.

"First of all, are you exaggerating here? Because I have a hard time imagining you torturing a fly, let alone Rachel. You won't even eat meat, and I know you get bacon cravings, don't deny it."

"I'm not exaggerating. You have no idea what I was capable of back then. And things with Rachel have always been especially complicated."

"Really?" He smirked a little. Quinn knew where this was going.

"It's not what you're thinking. Or at least, not completely. "

"I guess I'll have to take your word for it." There was that devilish smile again.

Quinn decided to let it go.

"Anyways, eventually we ended up in glee club together, Kurt too, and became almost ….friends? The club was there for me during some of the toughest times of my life, but it was always complicated." She shrugged, trying not to think about Puck, and Finn, and Beth. _Oh Beth._

"Then in senior year I had my accident, and it just ended up being easier to move on and make a new life than go back. Maybe it was the coward's way out, but I did what I had to. I haven't seen her or anyone else from high school since." Quinn finished, looking at Chris for his reaction.

"I'm not sure what to say." Chris paused. "I get the feeling I'm still missing some details, but I understand. Thanks for letting me in, Q-bear. And I don't think you're a coward."

"Don't thank me too soon. Rachel's as high maintenance as she is talented." Quinn teased dryly. "Besides, I feel like I should be thanking you. You kept things so light that it didn't feel nearly as painful as I expected."

"No problem. One other thing, what about Kurt? We were thinking about casting him as Lancelot, but we do have more options when it comes to male actors."

"We might as well go for it. Besides, it's pretty much the perfect role for him. And don't think I didn't see you blushing when you said his name just now."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Chris suddenly became very interested in the contents of his teacup.

Quinn smirked, a feeling of relief sinking in now that she had this over with. "Keep telling yourself that."

"Yeah, umm. Anyways, changing the subject, is it okay if I call Brandon and get him to call Rachel and Kurt about their parts?"

"Actually, I was hoping that I could tell Rachel. It won't be easy, but I need to meet with her and set a few things straight if this is going to work professionally."

rqrq

Rachel chose a table and sat down in the coffee shop, her knuckles turning white as she clutched her latte. She watched the door anxiously, her foot tapping in a regular staccato rhythm.

She had been in class the day before when her phone buzzed. The text was short and to the point:

_We need to talk. Meet me tomorrow 12:30 My Dog Joe's – Quinn_

To say that she had been surprised was a huge understatement. She had imagined that she would have to track Quinn down in order to see her again, never imaging that her former nemesis would contact her voluntarily.

Rachel had been torn between elation and total panic. Either way, she hadn't slept for more than a couple of hours as a result. She had given up at around 4am and dedicated the rest of the night to compiling flow charts of her plan to win Quinn's friendship and lists of light conversation starters.

Rachel was startled out of her haze by Quinn entering the shop. She ignored Rachel at first, going to order from the counter. The brunette took the opportunity to get a good look at her long lost friend. Everything at the theatre had happened so fast that she never really noticed how different Quinn looked from how she remembered her in high school.

Quinn's new look could best be described by what Rachel thought of as "hipster". No babydoll dress today; she was wearing pants with woolly socks and burkes and a knit sweater. Her hair was one of the few things that had stayed the same; it was just as short as it had been at the beginning of senior year.

She was still the prettiest girl Rachel had ever met.

Rachel nervously made eye contact, her heart racing as Quinn got her coffee and came over to the table.

"Hi Quinn." Rachel licked her lips. _Don't Screw this up Rachel Barbra Berry._

"Rachel."

"Quinn, I really need to apologize-"

"That's not necessary." Quinn cut her off abruptly, her face impossible to read. "Look Rachel, I arranged this meeting because we need to straighten some things out between us if this is going to work."

"I'm not sure what you mean?"

"Let me explain. The rest of the production crew really liked your audition, and I know how talented you are. We'd like to offer you the role. But, if this is going to work, there needs to be a few ground rules regarding our interactions."

"Such as?"

"This will be a strictly professional relationship. I'm a different person now, and I'm not interested in reliving high school. This will only work if you agree to leave the past in the past by not spreading the details of our history among the cast and crew. Do you understand?"

Rachel couldn't believe how cold Quinn was being. Sure, Quinn had done some horrible things to her in the past, but it had always been fuel by visible anger, never this sense of detachment.

"So this is the way it's going to be? You're just going to ignore the fact that anything ever happened between us, that we were there for each other during some of the worst and best times of our lives?" Rachel was getting worked up, her eyes starting to water. "We're just going to ignore the fact that we haven't talked to each other for over three years? I can see why you would be angry with me, but this isn't the solution!"

"I'm not angry Rachel, this is just the way it has to be-"

"Of course you're angry!" Rachel could hear her voice increasing in pitch as she became progressively more and more anxious. "You're pretending to be indifferent, but you're angry! And why wouldn't you be? It's my fault that you were in that accident!"

Quinn rolled her eyes bitterly, some of the anger that Rachel remembered starting to seep through.

"Can't you just drop the drama for once?"

"Drop it? You were texting me Quinn, and you were on the way to my wedding. Don't you think I've agonized about how guilty I am?"

That was it. Quinn exploded.

"God Rachel! Maybe you still haven't noticed this, but not everything is about you! Let me tell you something, I texted and drove all the time back then. If it hadn't happened that time, it would have eventually – It wasn't anyone's fault but _my own_. You don't get to take credit for my bad decisions, and you certainly shouldn't waste your time moaning about how horrible being 'guilty' makes you feel. I'm the one in the chair for life, and I'm pretty sure that's enough horrible feelings for both of us."

For once in her life, Rachel Berry couldn't think of anything to say.

"Quinn, I-"

"So, can you keep this professional or not? This is a take it or leave it situation Rachel. And if you do, pass the word on to Kurt."

In the end, there really wasn't a choice at all. Rachel knew what she had to do.

"I'll take it."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – A Professional Relationship**

**A/N: Hey guys, sorry it's been a while since I updated this, school's been keeping me busy. Reading week is coming up soon though, so the next chapter should be a little quicker. Once again, thank you for all of your reviews, favourites and follows – they really are great motivators. Also, my knowledge of musical productions is pretty much limited to the perspective of the orchestra, so I apologize if it's super inaccurate.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not glee, not spamalot etc etc ad naseum.**

"Kurt, we're going to be late, and I don't think you want to incur the wrath of Quinn any more than I do, so…" Rachel waited impatiently for Kurt to catch up as the finally arrived at the theatre.

"For God's sake, slow down Rachel! We're still on time, I don't know why you're so worked up."

Rachel knew why she was worked up. It was their first day of rehearsals for Spamalot, and more importantly, she might see Quinn for the first time since their heated discussion in the coffee shop. Rachel wore a blue dress that fell to just above her knees; despite her changing sense of style she still preferred dresses and skirts to jeans. She had just barely managed to restrain herself from pulling out a matching blue headband.

Rachel wasn't sure if she would see Quinn today. They were doing a read through of the script with most of the main cast members, but she hadn't heard for sure that the former head cheerleader would be there. Knowing Quinn, if she didn't want to be there, she would undoubtedly come up with a story to explain her absence.

The brunette paused when her hand touched the faded handle of the theatre's front door, turning around to give Kurt a firm look.

"Remember the rules?"

"I'll keep my word" Kurt nodded solemnly "No talking about high school or Quinn's past in front of her friends."

"Good. The plan is to build a new relationship slowly, gradually opening her up to a healthy acceptance of her past." Rachel nodded authoritatively. It was a good plan. Her plans were always were.

"I'll stick to the plan as long as you do, Rachel" Kurt gave her a knowing look.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just saying, you've always been a little…I suppose you could say overly eager, when it comes to Quinn."

Damn him and his smug, knowing face.

"Kurt, I have absolutely no idea what you're referring to."

* * *

Quinn watched from her chair at the end of the board room as cast members started to arrive, feeling uncharacteristically anxious.

"You okay Quinn?" it was Brandon, her producer and close friend.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Quinn tried to tease with her usual low dry tones, but the words ended up coming out high and breathy.

Brandon and Chris were the only ones that knew anything about her past with Rachel and Kurt, and what she had told them was fairly limited. The diva and her best friend hadn't arrived yet, and Quinn had been reduced to checking the time on her cell phone every thirty seconds for the past ten minutes.

Several nail-biting minutes later, Quinn caught an earful of Rachel and Kurt's distinct voices out in the entrance way. She had only seconds to steel herself before they walked in the door side by side.

Giving them a bare nod of acknowledgment, Quinn forced herself to look elsewhere, but she couldn't help watching Rachel out of the corner of her eye. The brunette's dress reminded Quinn of high school Rachel – sweet, naïve and loyal. For an actor, Rachel was doing a particularly bad job of disguising the fact that she was staring at Quinn, and Kurt did little better. _Rachel never was good at subtlety. Crap. Stop thinking about Rachel. Professional._

Soon all of the major cast members had arrived, and Quinn was ready to address the room. She made her way to the head of the table and cleared her throat meaning fully. In a single moment, Rachel's big brown eyes locked on to hers, conveying a world of understanding and sadness and…other things that Quinn couldn't identify. Quinn looked away awkwardly.

Quinn cleared her throat loudly to get everyone's attention. _Time to get this show on the road. _

* * *

Rachel let out a long breath. She hadn't been able to take her eyes off of Quinn for more than half a minute at a time over the past several hours. Shortly after she and Kurt had arrived, Quinn had given a short talk on her artistic vision for the musical, and let them know that she would be meeting with all of them individually to talk about their roles.

It was a transformation. Rachel had known that Quinn was smart, even quite talented. But she had never seen her speak with this level of passion before. She had seen hints of it in high school. Hints like the angry fire in Quinn's eyes when she performed "It' a Man's World" for the glee club, or the quiet happiness and pride when she told Rachel that she got into Yale. Looking back, Rachel wondered if Quinn had been so occupied trying to cope with all of the crap life had thrown with her that this side never had a real chance to come out.

Whatever the case, this new Quinn took Rachel's breath away. Despite the fact that she couldn't walk or dance anymore, she seemed so much more comfortable in her own skin.

Once she had finished her talk, Quinn had them start on a basic read through of the major parts of the play, adding her input as they went along. Rachel couldn't help thinking that Quinn had commented on her parts much less frequently than the others, and with less detail. _Was she trying to ignore me? Or am I just paranoid? Kurt would probably tell me to stop overthinking this._

Now they had finally finished their run through, and thus the practice. Quinn had left moments before, claiming that she needed to 'check on the dancers'.

_What's the phrase people normally use in these sorts of situations? Ah, of course. Check on the dancers my ass. _Rachel's thoughts took a somewhat resentful turn. _After all, if she stayed she might actually have to make eye contact with me for more than half a second. We wouldn't want that. _

Kurt was chatting with a couple of the other main cast members, but Rachel decided that she wouldn't let Quinn get away that easily.

A determined look on her face, she followed Quinn's path out the front door into the front lobby, where she could see her target chatting casually with a couple of the dancers.

She stopped, taking a moment to observe Quinn's behaviour. Just as she was thinking how relaxed the blonde looked, she noticed something odd. One of the dancers was running her hand gently up and down Quinn's arm, obviously flirting with her by the sultry look on her face. _What the hell?_

An unpleasant, slightly nauseous feeling made itself known in the pit of Rachel's stomach as she tried to inconspicuously draw closer in order to discover the dancer's intentions.

"Are you sure? I can't do anything to change your mind?" The dancer, a young woman named Kayla if Rachel's memory served her right, had her bottom lip pushed out in an obvious pout. Rachel noticed that her hand was still lingering around Quinn's shoulder.

"I'm sorry Kayla, but I already made plans to go out with Chris, Brandon and Ben tonight." Quinn didn't sound very sorry.

"Maybe another time then?"

"We'll see."

That sounded like a rejection to Rachel. She couldn't help feeling slightly satisfied, telling herself it was because it had been such a foolish thing to ask. Who did that girl think she was anyway? Quinn was one of the straightest girls Rachel had ever known. Not to mention, if a girl had asked Quinn a question like that in high school, they would have gotten a much harsher rejection than "we'll see". Kayla had no idea how lucky she was to get off so lightly.

The dancers had retreated for now, leaving Quinn alone. Rachel decided to make her move, walking up behind her chair, anticipating a moment of private conversation when-

"Quinn, Rachel!"

It was Ben, another member of the crew that Rachel had met earlier. She got the impression that he was part of Quinn's circle of friends, although perhaps not as close as Chris or Brandon. He had spotted them from across the room and was now headed their way.

Quinn frowned as Ben's call alerted her to Rachel's presence. She turned around, raising one disapproving eyebrow at Rachel as Ben made his way to meet them.

"Hey girls! Quinn, we're all still going out tonight right?" He was practically glowing with childlike excitement.

There was a tense pause.

"Yes."

Ignoring Quinn's obvious reluctance to discuss the subject, Brandon's smile widened, if such a thing was possible.

"Great!" Then it was like a light bulb went off above his head. "Hey Rachel, I don't suppose you want to join us? It'll be fun…" He looked at her expectantly.

"Rachel was just saying that she has plans for tonight. Isn't that right Rachel?" Quinn spoke in a falsely cheery voice, the message clear: go along with this or face the horrifying consequences.

Rachel gulped audibly.

"Uh, of course. Of course. Yes. I have plans, with… Kurt! Yes. I couldn't possibly cancel; he gets terribly upset about these sorts of things." Rachel trailed off awkwardly, nodding to try to make it more convincing.

"That's too bad. Anyways, I need to talk to Brandon, I should get going. I'll see you at the next rehearsal Rachel." Quinn's smile sent cold chills down Rachel's back. _This _was the Quinn Fabray she remembered.

"Bye Quinn." Rachel said quietly. She couldn't help feeling a little hurt. The rational part of her knew this was just a defense mechanism, but it still stung that Quinn didn't want her around.

Ben had a puzzled look on his face as Quinn wheeled away. "What was that about? Seriously Rachel, don't let this scare you off, she's normally a super friendly person."

Rachel smiled, somewhat amused by Ben's blatant honesty.

"Don't worry about it Ben. In fact, I suspect she was just a little put off because of the way Kayla couldn't take a hint earlier." That was a good excuse. After all, it had been off putting for Rachel and she wasn't even the one experiencing it.

"You think so?" Ben questioned, looking a little surprised. "I've always kind of thought they would be a cute couple."

Rachel was pretty sure her eyebrows were disappearing into her hairline.

"Well, maybe, if Quinn was interested in women. Even then I'm not convinced." She tried not to sound to condescending, but had a sneaking suspicion it came across in her tone of voice anyways.

"Rachel…Quinn is interested in women. She's gay."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – Out**

**AN: Once again, thanks for all of the reviews/favourites/follows, I really do value your input and encouragement. I'm on reading week at the moment, so I've managed to pull together another fairly long chapter. Please let me know what you think! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

_"Rachel…Quinn is interested in women. She's gay."_

Rachel Berry considered herself a talkative person. She had been told by many people that she was entirely too talkative, but she thought her willingness to communicate and share her feelings was one of her best assets.

For once though, Rachel was completely silenced, unable to think of anything at all to say. She began to resemble a fish, her mouth opening and closing soundlessly for what seemed like forever (but in reality was probably only 20 seconds) after Ben's revelation.

For his part, Ben appeared completely oblivious to the utter turmoil he had just created in Rachel's mind.

"Anyways, Rachel, it's been great to meet you but I really need to get going. Talk to you later okay?" With that, he was off.

Rachel opened her mouth to protest, to ask one of the thousands of questions that had just exploded into her mind.

For once, nothing came out.

* * *

Quinn tipped up her glass, the last of her beer draining down her throat before she set her glass down on the table with an audible thunk. Beer normally wasn't her beverage of choice, but the guys had decided to buy a few pitchers when they arrived at the pub, so she just went with it. Plus, she didn't feel like talking, and people tend to be more accepting of silence when your mouth is full.

Ben, Chris and Brandon looked over at Quinn in one motion, each of their faces holding a slightly different look of concern. Although she couldn't be considered chatty, Quinn was normally at least sociable. Tonight however, she seemed more concerned with the contents of her glass than joining in on the conversation.

"You okay Q-bear? You're being pretty quiet over there." It fell to Chris as her best friend to broach the delicate topic.

Quinn tried to smile, but she had a feeling it didn't come across as confident as she had hoped. _ What am I supposed to tell them? No big deal, I'm just completely distracted by one Rachel Berry, the girl I spent most of my teenage years torturing._

"It's just been a long day." Quinn was pretty sure that wouldn't fool anyone, but hey, she had to try.

Chris shook his head silently, but obviously decided to take a hint and change the subject. Unfortunately, the subject he chose wasn't much better.

"So, I saw Kalya was talking to you earlier. She seemed pretty friendly." He smirked, sharing a knowing glance with Ben and Brandon.

"Why do you keep turning her down again?" Ben asked bluntly, going right to the heart of the matter as usual. "If I had a girl that good looking chasing after me for months, I would at least give her a chance. Actually, she wouldn't have to chase after me for months because I would say yes the _first_ time." He nodded decisively to emphasize his point.

Quinn inwardly groaned. This was a familiar point of contention. Kayla had asked her out exactly 10 times over the past 2 months. Each time, Quinn turned her down politely, and each time Kayla came back for more. _It's almost like she enjoys getting rejected._

"We've been over this before. Kayla's attractive, but I'm not interested in her like that, and I'm not looking for any sort of relationship right now anyways. I just want to feel a little more, established before I get into anything like that." Quinn listed her normal set of reasons.

"If you say so." Brandon's voice told her he was not convinced. Ben's and Chris's faces indicated likewise. Quinn sighed inwardly. _They know me too well._

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I think Rachel agrees with you." Ben said in a teasing voice, catching on to her frustration.

_Wait. What?_

"I _thought _you two knew each other after what happened during her audition" Ben continued, blissfully unaware of Quinn's growing panic, "But obviously I must have been wrong, because she didn't even know you were gay."

_Oh god. This isn't happening._

"I mean, I think she thought Kayla was being, like, a predatory lesbian or something until I set her straight. Or gay. I mean, until I set her straight about your gayness." He finally finished his babbling.

Knowing a little more about Quinn's past, Brandon and Chris exchanged a concerned look. Quinn's head was whirling.

"You. Told Rachel? That…I'm a lesbian?" The words came out disjointed. The blood drained from her face, turning her a ghostly shade of white.

"Well, yeah. Was I not supposed to? Are you going back into the closet or something? I thought you were out and proud and all that?" Ben asked, a confused look on his face.

Quinn laughed bitterly, trying desperately to contain the rush of anger, fear and outright panic that was rapidly welling up inside of her. It wasn't Ben's fault. The guy didn't have a subtle bone in his body, but his heart was in the right place. And he was right. Quinn was out.

FLASHBACK: November, freshman year of university

_Ever since Chris had sought asylum in Quinn's room, they had become permanent fixtures in each other's lives. She had accompanied him practically everywhere he went on campus, and a week later he emerged victorious in his game of Gotcha. Quinn had been worried that it would end when the game finished, but instead they had simply continued on as if nothing had changed. _

_Now, weeks later, she reflected that she had never had a friend she felt this connected to before. It wasn't sexual, or romantic. They just clicked. Chris got her dry sense of humour and she found herself enjoying his nerdiness and his obsessions with theatre and dance._

_But recently, Quinn had started to worry. Chris had invited her to hang out with some of his theatre friends a few times. She had enjoyed herself more than expected, but she soon started to notice something disturbing. People started to give her sly looks, and make badly disguised comments about the nature of her relationship with Chris. They were starting to be seen as a couple. _

_Quinn didn't want to be a couple. She had spent most of her teenage years up to this point letting boys define her, using them to disguise a side of herself she had always been afraid to acknowledge. _

_She had known for years that she found girls more attractive than boys, but somehow it always seemed easier to just push those thoughts away. When she couldn't push them away, she lashed out instead. _

_So, when one of Chris's friends finally crossed a line and said "So, when are you two lovebirds going to make this official?" she may have laughed it off, but inside she was completely terrified that this would ruin one of the best friendships she'd ever had. _

_She quickly made her excuses and left the apartment where they had been hanging out, making her way to the bus stop in a panic. Her hands pushed as hard as they could against the wheels of her chair, bumping into more than a few people in her haste to propel herself towards the bus shelter. _

_Just as a bus pulled up and she was about to get on, she heard someone run up behind her, gasping for breath as they practically doubled over beside her chair. It was Chris. _

_"I'm coming home with you." He explained, looking nervous._

_Quinn nodded, trying to avoid eye contact as she made her way to her designated area on the bus. Chris sat across from her. It was a strangely intimate situation._

_Quinn took a deep breath_. I need to shut this down before it goes anywhere. I can't lead him on.

_"Chris," she finally looked up and made eye contact "I need to talk to you about something."_

_"Me too." He said, more serious than she had seen him ever before. _

_"Okay. Here goes. I know your friends were just joking, I mean, about us being a couple. But, feel like I need to be honest with you. I love you as a friend, Chris. But, that's all."_

_She was surprised to see apprehension turn to genuine relief on Chris's face, a smile appearing. _

_"I don't know if you'll believe me, but I was just about to say the same thing. About you though."_

_Quinn couldn't help it. As the relief washed over her, she cracked up, a happy cackle escaping from her mouth. She smiled. _

_"I believe you." Her smile turned wry. "What a pair we are. You friends are going to be disappointed though."_

_"I think they'll live." He smirked. _

_Quinn's heart was still going a mile a minute as she struggled with something internally._ See? That went well. I should just tell him the rest. But what if he doesn't understand? I have to tell him at some point though, and I think it's now or never.

_"Chris, there's something else." Quinn's voice quivered slightly, her nerves threatening to take over. _

_Chris reached across the aisle and grabbed her hand. She took a shuddering breath, bracing herself for what she was about to say._

_"I, I think I'm a lesbian. Maybe this is weird, because I haven't known you long, but you're my best friend, and I've never told anyone before…" she trailed off, studying his face for a reaction. At first, there wasn't one, but then he smiled a little, opened his mouth and said –_

_"Me too."_

_"What?" Quinn had not been expecting that. _

_"I think I'm gay too, Quinn. And I've never told anyone before_ either." _Chris was normally a pretty confident person when he spent time with Quinn, but now he looked just as vulnerable as she felt. _

_Quinn smiled tremulously. _I'm not alone!

_"So, what are we going to do about this?" she questioned_

_"Maybe we could come out together?" Chris suggested_

_Quinn's smile grew, just as her confidence in her ability to see this through was growing._

_"I think I would like that."_

END FLASHBACK

"I am out." Quinn was pretty sure her teeth were grinding from clenching her jaw so tight. "Just…not to Rachel. I haven't seen her since high school_. Crap._"

All three men raised their eyebrows. Quinn Fabray did use words like crap.

Ben shrugged apologetically. "I'm sorry Quinn, I didn't realize. Is it really a big deal though? She's not homophobic or something is she? She did seem a little surprised."

Quinn laughed a little hysterically. "She's not homophobic. She has two gay Dads." As she was talking, she dug into her purse, pulling out her phone. She had four missed calls, all from Rachel Berry.

_This is not going to end well. So much for keeping things professional._

* * *

Rachel sat in her favourite coffee shop sitting her soy milk latte, waiting impatiently for a certain someone to arrive. She couldn't stop thinking about Quinn. It wasn't that she was really upset about Quinn being gay; it just put everything she thought she knew about the girl into a complete state of flux.

The scrape of a chair being pulled out from the table drew her eyes up from her cup see to Santana sitting down across from her. She had just gotten off work at a restaurant down the street.

"Santana. Thank goodness. I'm so sorry to inconvenience you, but it really was an emergency." Rachel fiddled with the handle of her mug nervously.

"Cool your tits Berry, I've got you covered" Santana smirked knowingly, taking a slow sip of her coffee. "This is about Q, isn't it?"

"I'm afraid you're right. I've discovered something about her that I wasn't expecting and it has completely thrown me off. I just don't-"

"Well, spit it out then, what is it?" Santana impatiently rolled her eyes.

"There's no subtle way to say this. Quinn's gay, and she's been out for quite some time by the look of it."

Santana chocked, coughing some of her coffee into a hastily raised napkin.

"What the hell? Jeez Rachel, you could have warned me not to drink a hot beverage before spilling that juicy bit of news."

"Surely you can understand that I'm a little pre-occupied at the moment?" Rachel's voice rose by half an octave, not sounding very repentant.

Santana cleared her throat, eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "Well, I suppose that explains why you look like you just swallowed a small rodent whole-"

"Hey!" Rachel protested.

"I'm just saying, you look more than a little unsettled."

"Shouldn't I be?" Rachel asked incredulously "This is the girl who spent most of high school either torturing me or obsessing over boys! Finn, Puck, Sam, Joe…The list goes on, Santana. Quinn being one of the most popular, straightest girls I've ever met is one of the founding truths of my teenage years."

Santana appeared decidedly unmoved by Rachel's rant, a look of quiet contemplation still on her face.

"Don't you think calling Quinn boy-obsessed is just a _little_ bit hypocritical? I mean, _Finn_. Need I say more?"

"Point taken." Rachel conceded. "But I feel a little out of the loop here. Why aren't you freaking out about this?"

"To be honest," Santana said quietly "I'm not that surprised. What surprises me most is the fact that she actually found the ladyballs to do something about it and come out."

"You knew!?" Rachel gasped.

"I didn't know, I just…suspected. Quinn's relationships with boys were always more about status than they were about feelings. She reminded me of myself. And some of her_ fixations_ made me wonder as well."

"What fixations?"

"You really don't know?" Santana smiled at her pityingly. "Why do you think Quinn spent so much time torturing you? It certainly wasn't because she cared about Finn."

Rachel's eyes widened to saucer-like proportions. "Are you saying-"

Santana cut her off, waving her hand as if to brush the whole issue aside. "I doesn't matter. The point is, this isn't exactly a surprise to me."

"It is to me." Rachel sighed, feeling hopelessly oblivious. "What should I do? I feel like I need to talk to her about this, ask why she never felt comfortable to tell me before. I found out from this random guy after practice yesterday. I called her like four times last night, but she didn't pick up. I think I could probably figure out where she lives, too – I added her roommate Chris on facebook, and-"

"Wow, I'm just gonna stop you right there." Santana cut her off, looking a little alarmed. "I thought the idea was to lie low and slowly win back her friendship? Personally, I'm still kind of pissed about her disappearing act, but even I know that going all creepy stalker on her ass probably isn't going to help. Just saying."

Rachel frowned. "I hate it when you're right."

"I'm _always_ right." Santana smirked

* * *

Quinn fiddled with her clipboard as she waited for Rachel to arrive at her makeshift "office" (read: closet) at the theatre. Today was the day she had set aside to talk to all of the major cast members about their roles. She had intentionally left Rachel to the last time slot. She hadn't seen the diva since Ben had inadvertently let slip the intimate details of Quinn's sexual orientation.

She mentally steeled herself as Rachel knocked on the door and let herself in. _Who I'm attracted to is none of your business, Rachel Berry. _

Rachel put down her bag and made herself comfortable on the slightly lopsided chair across from Quinn. The blonde felt her heart speed up and her palm start to sweat. The fact that Rachel was wearing one of those extremely short skirts that Quinn had always enjoyed in high school, but without the stockings, didn't help the situation. _Her legs just go on forever. Wait. Bad thoughts. Focus Quinn, focus. _

"So, Rachel" Quinn started, clearing her throat when it came out raspy, "I want to talk to you about my ideas for your character." She should have known it wouldn't be that easy.

"Quinn, if you think I'm going to just let you avoid the elephant in the room, you are sadly mistaken." Rachel said in a lecture-like tone, a no-nonsense look on her face. "I know you don't like thinking about high school, but if you ever did, you might remember that I don't function that way."

"I'm not sure-"

"Are you gay Quinn? Ben says you are, and that you're out."

_I forgot how little subtlety she has about these sorts of things._

"Yes, I am." Quinn admitted quietly. "I came out in my first year of university. Ben said he'd told you."

"I don't understand. I mean, obviously I don't have a problem with gay people. It's just – we spent _years _fighting over a boy! Was all of that just staged?"

Quinn sighed, staring at her lap. "Rachel, this is part of the reason that I wanted to keep our relationship professional. If I tried to explain every single horrible thing I did in high school, we'd be here forever."

Rachel huffed. "I think I deserve an explanation if you tortured me for several years because of feelings that never even existed."

"I was confused, and scared! I went after boys because I wanted to be popular, and I tortured you because I was jealous, okay? You had everything! A supportive family, a bright future, everything!" She shuddered, her eyes starting to water. "My parents kicked me out for being pregnant – what do you think they would have done if they knew that I was gay?"

Rachel's face softened as she realized how upset Quinn was.

"I'm sorry. I'm being selfish, as usual." She got up and came to Quinn's side of the desk. Sitting down on a chair beside Quinn's, she gently reached out and wiped away a lone tear that was running down the blonde's cheek. "I haven't even been thinking about how hard this must have been for you, on top of everything else you've had to deal with." Her hand lingered, gently cupping Quinn's cheek.

Quinn's eyes fluttered shut, allowing herself a moment of weakness as she leaned into Rachel's hand. _So soft._ As she felt it draw away, she opened her eyes and found herself looking straight into Rachel's big brown orbs. All of the earlier confusion, and simmering tension that Quinn had sensed was gone. The blonde could only see kindness, and warmth.

"As surprising as I may find this, I hope you know that I support you completely, and I know all of our former glee-clubbers will as well. I know you want to keep things professional, but if you ever want to talk about your past, or anything, I'm here."

Quinn couldn't help smiling slightly, feeling her resolve to distance herself from the diva weakening by the second.

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Good." Rachel's toned turned teasing. "Now, I seem to remember there being something else we needed to talk about, something about a character perhaps?"

Quinn couldn't help the chuckle that burst from her chest. She had completely forgotten about the original purpose of the meeting.

"Of course. On to business then, Miss Berry?"

"On to business, Miss Fabray."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – Interference**

**A/N: Once again, thank you for all of your reviews, favourites and follows! Since I'm on reading week, I've had enough time to write another chapter already. Please let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Quinn sighed happily into her freshly steeped mug of chai tea. It was nice to just sit at home for once. Between class and all the work she was putting into Spamalot, the last few days had left her little time to relax. She was taking one credit less than a full course load to allow herself enough time for the musical, but it was still a busy schedule to meet.

Idly, she wondered what Rachel's courses were like this time of year. It was only the end of September, but if her own schedule was starting to ramp up, chances were that the situation wasn't too different at NYADA.

_I need to stop thinking about Rachel. _The diva had been on her mind frequently since their meeting a few days before. In retrospect, Quinn was embarrassed that she had broken down so easily, but she was glad the whole issue was out of the way for now. Hopefully Rachel would accept the explanation of jealously for Quinn's past treatment of her. She _had _been jealous of Rachel in high school, but if Quinn was being honest with herself it wasn't _quite_ the whole story. As far as Quinn was concerned, that was more information than Rachel really needed to know. Either way, she was determined to be friendly, but more professional with Rachel in the future. This would be much easier to do if she could simply _stop thinking about her all the time. _

The chair across from her at the kitchen table scraped against the floor as Chris pulled it back, setting another mug of tea on the table as he sat down to join her. She smiled, happy to see him. They'd both been so busy in the past few days that there had barely been a chance to talk.

"Hey Q-bear." He said softly, pausing to blow on his tea. "Haven't seen much of you these last few days."

"It's been a hectic week. You've been pretty busy yourself."

"A little. On the plus side, I've made major progress in laying down the basic choreography for Spamalot. By the way, how did your meeting with Rachel go? I never got a chance to ask." He wiggled his eyebrows mischievously.

Quinn groaned, momentarily burying her face in her hands. "It's complicated."

"You can't just react like that and not tell me anything else!"

"Okay, okay" Quinn conceded. "I completely embarrassed myself, and let my guard down more than I should have. But, I think it ended on a good note. She was a little more…reasonable than I was expecting."

"That doesn't sound so bad. Why were you so worried about this?"

Quinn sighed. "Remember how I told you that I spent a good portion of my high school career torturing Rachel?"

Chris nodded intently, taking another sip of tea.

"We also spent most of high school fighting with each other over a boy."

Her friend set down his cup, coughing as a mouthful of tea went down the wrong pipe. "Okay. You win, I was not expecting that. I've seen you hand out some pretty brutal rejections to guys. I mean, I know you weren't out, but-"

"I've told you, I was a different person back then. Not that I was interested in men romantically, but I was terrified of my sexuality, and I saw them as useful for status reasons. Discovering that I wasn't even interested in the boy we spent so much time fighting over was confusing for Rachel."

"Quinn Fabray, feminist extraordinaire, using men to improve her position in the world. I didn't think you had it in you." Chris said teasingly.

Quinn just threw him a condescending look. "You have no idea. There's a reason I don't enjoy talking about this stuff. Let's just conclude I was messed up and leave it at that."

Chris chuckled. "Okay, you're off the hook for now I guess." His expression turned serious. "I do have one tangentially related thing to ask you about though, and I want you to be completely honest with me."

"What is it?" Quinn asked, a little surprised by his serious tone. "You know you can ask me anything."

Chris nervously ran his hands through his curly hair. "It's about Kurt. We've kind of been flirting, and I think he would say yes if I asked him out to coffee, but I don't want to make you feel awkward, so I can definitely just forget the whole idea if you're not okay with it." He finished talking in a nervous rush.

Quinn raised one slim eyebrow. "When did this happen?"

Chris looked down guiltily, his face going a little red. "We may have exchanged phone numbers a few days ago…"

Quinn sighed internally. As much as she wanted to do the selfish thing here, she knew what needed to be done.

"Chris, you know that Kurt is out right? To everyone." Quinn said pointedly. Chris was out to all of his friends, but with his republican family members he was currently operating on a 'Don't Ask, Don't' Tell' system.

"I know." Chris said quietly. "But this isn't even serious yet. And, I know that I'll have to deal with it at some point anyways."

"I just wanted to make sure you knew." Quinn smiled softly. "As for you potentially dating him, I can't guarantee there won't be a few awkward moments, but I don't want to get in the way of your happiness. Kurt's a really good guy."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"That means a lot to me Quinn. I promise I won't go asking questions about high school or anything like that. I don't want to invade your privacy." He said, quick to reassure her.

"Look Chris, I don't want to talk about this stuff, but I'm not going to regulate your conversations with Kurt. If it comes up, fine. I'm not going to accuse you of betraying me or anything like that. I'm not quite that far gone." Quinn said, smirking.

"You're a great friend Quinn. The best friend, in fact."

"You'd better not forget that." Quinn threatened jokingly.

* * *

Rachel Berry was starting to feel frustrated. Ever since her meeting with Quinn, the blonde had been avoiding her. Unlike before, it wasn't cold. Whenever they did talk at rehearsal, it could almost be called pleasant, but still distant all the same. Rachel wasn't sure if this was Quinn reacting with embarrassment to her moment of weakness or simply a renewed determination to keep things 'professional'.

Either way, it was frustrating. She had complained about it to Kurt, who had as usual been wildly unhelpful, telling her that she just needed to 'be patient' and 'give it time'. Rachel didn't want to do that.

They had just finished another Saturday of rehearsals, and Rachel thought this might finally be her chance to talk to Quinn again. Searching the lobby where everyone was chatting casually, her eyes narrowed when they found her target.

There was Quinn, across the room. She wasn't alone. Once again, Kayla had latched onto her like a leech, refusing to let go. Even from across the room, Rachel could tell that the dancer was working up to asking Quinn out again. According to Kurt, who had heard it from Chris, Quinn had already turned the girl down about 10 times.

Looking at Kayla's smooth, dancer's body, Rachel felt herself starting to get angry. Didn't Kayla know how to take no for an answer? And of course, there was Quinn, looking perfectly put together and polite as usual. Irrational jealousy stirring in her stomach, Rachel decided that it was up to her to do something about this situation.

Striding across the room quickly, she made her way to where Kayla had cornered Quinn. She couldn't help noticing the smooth, silky skin of Quinn's arms, left bare by her vest and tank top. A shudder crept up her spine as Kayla laid one of her grimy (or at least in Rachel's opinion) hands on Quinn's arm.

"Quinn, I need to talk to you. It's urgent." Rachel said, putting on her most extreme, high maintenance diva persona. She thought she saw a hint of relief in the blonde's eyes as Kayla awkwardly excused herself and went to join another group. Inwardly, she was cackling gleefully at her success.

* * *

"Can I help you with something Rachel?" Quinn asked politely.

"No, I just helped you with something though." Said Rachel slyly, obviously pleased with herself. She nodded subtly towards Kayla. "You're welcome."

"Oh." Quinn was torn. One on hand, she was a little relieved that Kayla was out of her hair. On the other hand, how did Rachel think it was her business to interfere? "Who says I needed rescuing?"

"The look on your face. Plus, I know you've turned her down before. Some people don't know how to admit when they've lost. You're way out of her league anyways, Quinn. I know you can do better." Rachel's distain for the dancer was quite obvious.

"Maybe I like the attention." Quinn responded pleasantly.

"Admit it, you were just being polite, I could tell." Rachel said firmly.

Quinn felt a flare of annoyance at Rachel's presumption. Who did she think she was, thinking that she knew everything that went on in Quinn's head? She may have been right about Kayla, but it still grated. And then she had the nerve to come over and stand there, taunting Quinn with her long exposed legs, and her silky brown hair.

The blonde decided that it was time to teach Rachel a lesson.

"Well Rachel," she said pleasantly "I appreciate your intentions, but I'm afraid you've completely misinterpreted the situation."

"Kayla!" she called out to the dancer, who was just across the room. Like a devoted puppy, the girl's ears perked up as she heard Quinn calling her name. She quickly made her way over.

"Sorry about that Kayla, Rachel just had a few questions about the show. Anyways, I was just about to say," she paused, sending Rachel a challenging look "that I would love to go out with you tonight."

Rachel and Kayla looked equally surprised at this development. The difference was, Kayla's surprise quickly turned to excitement, while Rachel's turned to annoyance.

After making arrangements for dinner, Kayla practically skipped off. Rachel turned to Quinn, practically fuming.

"I know what this is about Quinn. You just want to punish me for knowing you so well. It's not going to work though. You and I both know you have about as much interest in dating her as you do in advanced nuclear physics."

"I have no idea what you're talking about Rachel. I _am_ a lesbian, and Kayla is an attractive young woman. I would be silly not to take her up on her offer." She said smoothly, just a hint of teasing showing beneath the surface.

With that, she left, leaving a fuming Rachel Berry behind her.

**A/N: So what do you think? I hope you aren't too disappointed that Quinn isn't quite as open as she was last chapter, but I couldn't make things too easy for Rachel. They are at least on better terms now, and even in the last bit, Quinn was more doing it to teach Rachel a lesson, not because she was feeling angry or cold towards her. Let me know what you think, I appreciate your feedback!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry it's been a while, university has kept me extra busy! Thanks for all of the lovely feedback last chapter. Even though I haven't had time to reply to them all, I appreciate the extra perspective on what I am writing. Please do review if you have any constructive criticism about my writing or the storyline. I can't promise to implement all suggestions, but I will certainly take all feedback seriously. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Chapter 7 – Insecurity

"Well," Quinn looked up at Kayla, who stood beside her "This is my stop." They were in front of Quinn's apartment door, just having returned from the promised date.

Quinn was a little surprised at how pleasant the evening had been. Kayla had arrived precisely on time, wearing a green dress that hugged her in all the right places and showed off her long legs at the same time. That had certainly caught Quinn's attention, but even more surprising was the dancer's sensitivity. She had taken Quinn to a lovely Italian restaurant, and they had spent the meal making pleasant conversation about theatre and directing.

Now, awkwardly making eye contact in front of her apartment door, she wasn't sure what to say. Kayla, on the other hand, had no such problem.

"I'm so glad you could join me tonight Quinn. You have no idea how happy it makes me that that you finally took me up on my offer." She smiled widely.

"It was a pleasure." Quinn stalled, trying to come up with a subtle way to end the evening.

Looking up at Kayla's wide eyes, shining with excitement, she felt a wave of guilt wash over her. This had seemed like such a good idea at the time – an easy way to show Rachel she was in control of her own life. She hadn't even stopped to consider the feelings of the girl who had asked her out so many times in the last few months, how she would be leading her on. It felt incredibly manipulative, like something she would have done in high school to secure her social status. She'd thought she had left that Quinn behind, and it was disturbing to discover that she was still there, just lurking below the surface.

That's when it happened. Quinn saw the signs as Kayla tilted her head, smiling softly and bending down slowly. She had just enough time to turn her head to the side as Kayla's lips descended, clearly intent on making contact with Quinn's. Instead, they had to settle for her cheek. Quinn tried to conceal a frown, annoyed as always by the fact that her chair left her vulnerable to ambush from the kisses of others, yet also increased the difficultly of initiating them herself.

"Oh." A humiliated blush reddened the dancer's cheeks as she quickly retreated, taking a few steps backwards. "I'm sorry Quinn. It's just, I thought you wanted-"

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Quinn tried to smile gently, although she was afraid that it came out looking more like a pained grimace than anything.

Kayla should have been everything Quinn could want in a potential partner: kind, attractive, compatible interests. And yet, It still felt as if there was something missing.

"It's just," she paused, trying to come up with a good way of phrasing this "I really enjoyed myself, and I like you, but..." Quinn fiddled with her belt, unable to maintain eye contact.

"But what?" Kayla questioned, her quivering voice giving away her distress.

Quinn looked up slowly. Kayla deserved an honest explanation. "I don't think I have the right type of feelings for you. I shouldn't have agreed to go on this date. I'm sorry."

"I see." Kayla appeared to steel herself. I'll see you at practice then." With that, she turned, her motions jerky, and started to stride off. After a few paces she paused, her shoulders slumping a little. Still facing the way, Quinn had to strain to hear when she spoke again. "You could have told me that before. I like you, but I'm not a predator. Goodbye, Quinn."

Reaching the elevator, she was rubbing her eyes when Quinn saw her toe catch in the gap between the hallway and the elevator. She tried to warn "Kayla!" but it was too late. Before she could finish shouting her name, the dancer had already tripped, her whole body crashing harshly to the ground.

* * *

Rachel had been at rehearsal since early that morning. Although it was now mid-afternoon, she had yet to see Quinn. She had yet to see Kayla as well, and couldn't help worrying that the two phenomena were somehow related. She had mainly been working on vocals today, so it wasn't entirely unexpected that she hadn't run into the director or the dancer, but Rachel was self-aware enough to admit that she was nothing if not paranoid.

Part of her knew that she shouldn't be obsessing over Quinn's absence this much, but she couldn't help it. Ever since Quinn had announced that she would accept Kayla's offer for a date a few days before, Rachel had been able to think of little else. Objectively, she knew that she should be happy for them, but thinking of them together still brought on a sinking, burning feeling in the pit of her stomach. Despite Quinn's claims to the contrary, she remained convinced that accepting Kayla's offer had merely been a means to put Rachel in her place for daring to butt into the former cheerleader's personal life.

The real mystery here was why she cared so much. Sure, a good part of it was lingering guilt due to her role in Quinn's accident. But even before that, she had always been almost desperate for Quinn's friendship. _Rachel Barbra Berry, you are a strong independent woman, and you don't need anyone's approval to be happy. _In some ways, it felt like she had regressed to the Rachel who desperately wanted Finn's approval in high school.

After discussing the matter with Kurt, she had decided that it would be best if she reigned in her eagerness a little. She was still determined to renew her relationship with Quinn, but she couldn't sacrifice her own independence and development to do it. Besides, maybe Quinn would be a little more willing to communicate if she could see that she wasn't the only one who had changed since high school. It was still difficult to keep her mind from the other girl, but she was determined to stop herself from seeking her like a lost puppy.

This new mindset firmly in place, she was surprised when Quinn was the one to seek her out.

They were having a break when the blonde haired girl entered the room and approached Rachel, addressing her directly.

"Can we talk? I have something I need to ask you about." She motioned towards the door.

Nodding the affirmative, Rachel followed her out the door and to her office. She couldn't help subtly scanning Quinn's neck for hickeys, but could only see deliciously smooth, unblemished skin. _This is ridiculous. Quinn has always been way to classy to be caught with awkwardly placed hickeys. _

As she sat down, she couldn't resist asking "So, how was your date with Kayla?" deliberately trying to keep her voice pleasant.

Quinn stared at her desk, blushing a little. "It was nice. Surprisingly nice, actually. We went to an Italian place that just opened a few weeks ago."

"I'm glad." Rachel said a little stiffly, one of her hands clenching the armrest of her chair until her knuckles went white.

Quinn smiled sadly, shaking her head a little. "I hate to say this, but you were right. As perfect as it was, I just…don't have those kinds of feelings for Kayla. I had ulterior motives, and in retrospect I can see that it was a pretty awful thing to do."

A wave of relief washed through Rachel as Quinn spoke, putting to rest all of the horrible worries she'd had about what Quinn and Kayla might be doing together in the past few days. She tried to contain a happy smirk at the idea that Kayla would now have to give up on Quinn for good.

Quinn could tell her words had made Rachel satisfied. "Don't look so happy, just because I admit you were right doesn't mean I'm not still annoyed with you. I owe an apology to Kayla, not to you. I realize you had good intentions, but you can't just interfere like that and expect me to take it. I make my own decisions Rachel."

Rachel nodded, albeit a little reluctantly, in acceptance. "You may be right. I acted inappropriately, even if my presumptions were correct. Independence looks good on you Quinn. And to be honest, it was more about my own insecurities." She finished with a small smile.

When Quinn looked a little surprised at Rachel's admission, the diva shrugged. "You don't have a monopoly on personal growth Quinn. We've all changed since high school, even me."

"I'm just surprised. You're probably the most confident person I've ever met." Quinn said, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

"Just because I'm confident in my abilities doesn't mean I don't have insecurities in my social life. Why else would I have spent so much time chasing after Finn in high school? It certainly wasn't for his sexual prowess."

"Rachel!" Quinn gasped, a few chuckles escaping.

Rachel smiled, pleased that Quinn had loosened up a little. "I hate to admit it, but Santana was actually right about that. That's beside the point though."

Quinn nodded wryly, still grinning a little at Rachel's description of Finn.

"What happened to you guys anyway? I was a little surprised that you didn't go through with the wedding."

Rachel raised a teasing eyebrow. "Are you sure I'm allowed to talk about this? I thought our personal lives were taboo?"

"I might be able to make an exception."

"You just want to say I told you so, don't you?"

"Maybe." Quinn's lips curved slightly, her eyes twinkling.

Rachel sighed exaggeratedly. "I suppose I deserve that. As you know, we almost got married the day you had your accident, but I wanted you to be there, and our time slot ran out. Then we heard what had happened, and it got pushed aside."

"You waited for me?"

Rachel's throat constricted a little as she heard the vulnerability in Quinn's voice. "I would have waited much longer Quinn. You're important to me." Clearing her throat in an attempt to brush aside the serious atmosphere, she continued. "Anyways, I realized after that I had actually been relieved to not go through with it. I had all these messed up reasons for marrying him, and none of them were the right ones. I broke it off before I came to New York."

"Maybe this is uncharitable of me, but I'm glad" Quinn said, hesitantly.

"It seemed so complicated at the time, but in retrospect it was quite simple. I made the right decision. You were correct when you told me it was a mistake." Rachel admitted.

"Well, I wasn't going to go there, but I'm happy to take credit."

Rachel felt a flutter in her chest as Quinn grinned at her from across the table. "So," she said nonchalantly, trying to push down the butterflies, "What did you want to see me about?"

"I almost forgot about that. It's a little embarrassing though, you have to promise not to judge me." Quinn said firmly.

Now Rachel was curious. "Oh really? I suppose I could agree to that. I have to say I'm extremely curious now."

Quinn's face flushed. "When I told Kayla that I wasn't interested in her the way she wanted me to be the other night, she kind of… fellandbrokeherankle." The last part came gushing out.

Rachel's eyes widened. "What? Is she okay? I have to admit I'm a little confused."

"It happened after I let her down at the end of our date. She wasn't as alert as she could have been, and she tripped into the elevator and broke her ankle. I had to take her to the hospital." She trailed off miserably, clearly embarrassed.

Rachel was taking a morally questionable amount of pleasure from this whole situation. "Wait, so she basically tripped over nothing and someone managed to break a bone?"

"Essentially." Quinn groaned, putting her head into her palms. "I feel horrible about it."

"Oh dear." Rachel tried to contain a small snicker at the image that was going through her head. This became more difficult as Quinn raised an unimpressed eyebrow. Quinn's unimpressed raised eyebrow was one of Rachel's favourite facial expressions. It was almost a little…cute. Managing to pull herself together, she asked "How can I provide assistance?"

The red flush began to fade from Quinn's cheeks as she answered. "Well, we're short one of our major dancers now. We need to find a replacement who can pick up the choreography we've already done. I was hoping that you might know someone through NYADA?"

Rachel frowned, running through her mental lists of classmates in her head. She shook her head lightly when she came up blank.

"There are some excellent dancers at NYADA, but I'm afraid that most of them already have projects on the go at this point in the semester." She answered reluctantly.

"I was afraid of that," Quinn replied, her face showing disappointment nonetheless. "There's really no-one? We could take someone a little less experienced if we had to…"

"I do have one idea," Rachel said slowly.

"I'm sensing a "but" here"

"But," the diva continued "I don't think you'll like it."

"Tell me anyway" Quinn insisted.

"Okay, but remember, you asked. I was thinking of Brittany. She and Santana both live in New York. She teaches at a dance studio pretty much full time these days, but she does some choreography. She could easily pick up what I've seen of Kayla's parts so far."

Quinn was silent for about half a minute, clearly torn, before she responded. "You're right, I'm not sure about that. Brittany and Santana are still together?"

"Oh yes. They broke up for a while after senior year. Brittany still had a few courses to get and they didn't want to do long distance. Santana actually lived with Kurt and I for a year before Brittany moved out here and they got back together."

"You, Kurt and Santana?" Quinn asked incredulously. "That sounds explosive."

"It was at first, but I was actually surprised how well it worked out. Santana has turned out to be a pretty good friend."

"So, do they know you're working with me?" Quinn asked.

"Yes," Rachel admitted reluctantly "But they know you want your space. And to be honest, Santana seems to be of the opinion that you owe her an apology for disappearing for so long."

Quinn snorted. "Typical Santana. To be honest Rachel, I think I need more time to think about it."

Rachel nodded, simply happy that Quinn hadn't shut down the idea right away. She left the office shortly after, but with a much lighter heart than she had entered. It was so nice to just talk with Quinn for once, without any fighting or accusations. Somehow, it gave her hope that one day they could have more.

**A/N Well, what do you think? Next chapter will have some unholy trinity interaction, so let me know if you're looking forward to anything in particular about that!** **I will also try to reply to reviews this time :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: The Unholy Trinity (Part 1)**

**Hello out there! I'm sorry for not updating this story for so long, school got pretty hectic there for a while. The good news is that I'm now done university for the summer, so I'll be able to update much more frequently from here on out. That's assuming there's anyone still reading this. Since I now have more time, I'll try to be more consistent about replying to reviews. Please let me know what you think, my writing skills are a little rusty (or at least, my non-essay writing skills).**

**A quick recap since it's been a while: After the car crash in season 3, Quinn didn't go back to McKinley, and the glee club didn't hear from her until Rachel auditions for a show she's directing almost three years later. Quinn is quite different from how Rachel remembers her in high school, including the fact that she is now out and proud. In recent events, one of the production's dancers broke her ankle while on a date with Quinn, and Rachel suggested that Brittany could act as a replacement. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

"So, what do you want to do?"

Quinn shrugged her shoulders helplessly, unable to form a solid response to Chris's question. She had just finished explaining Rachel's suggestion about Brittany. After further thought she had reluctantly realized that this may be one of their only chances to find a replacement dancer of equal talent.

"You're the choreographer. What do you want to do?" Quinn was happy to put the ball back in his court.

Chris frowned, looking a little puzzled at his roommate's reticence. "Well, is she qualified? Could she keep up?"

"As long as she hasn't regressed since high school, she could more than keep up." Quinn admitted, a little reluctantly.

"So, why am I sensing some hesitance from you about this?" Chris prodded gently, somewhat teasingly as always.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Do we really have to process our feelings about this?"

"Yes." Chris said firmly, smirking a little. "Did she bully you in high school or something? Was she your arch-nemesis? Can I give you superhero names?"

Quinn couldn't quite keep in her smile. This is why she loved Chris. He had a way of making her problems seem ridiculous and silly.

"I don't think Brittany even knows how to be unkind. To be honest, it's not really her I'm worried about."

Chris's eyes went wide with curiosity. "What does that mean?!" When Quinn didn't immediately respond, he put on his puppy dog face. "You can't just say that and not explain…"

Quinn sighed. _Damn him._ "What I'm _actually_ worried about is Santana."

"Santana?"

"Santana, Brittany's girlfriend."

"Ohh." He mulled it over for a moment. "Wait, how many gay people were there in this show choir anyway?" he asked, counting up on his fingers. "You, Kurt, Brittany, Santana-"

"And Kurt's ex. I wasn't out though."

"Damn, I knew I should have joined glee. But what's so bad about this Santana girl?"

"Santana is pretty much the opposite of Brittany, and according to Rachel she's still pretty angry with me for being out of contact for so long. That's one confrontation I am not looking forward to. Santana and I have a history of rubbing each other the wrong way." She shook her head as Chris raised his eyebrows questioningly. "And that's all you're getting from me. Ideally, having Brittany audition without Santana's knowledge would be the best thing." She mused.

Chris shook his head, grinning. "You know I respect your privacy, but chances are I'll find out eventually."

Quinn sighed "Oh, I know."

* * *

_I feel pretty, and witty and bright… _

Rachel's phone went off as she sat on the couch in their loft, attempting to get some school work done. She snatched it off the coffee table, recognizing the ring tone she had programmed in for Quinn's number.

"You have reached Rachel Berry's cell phone, how may I help you?" She answered, her heart thudding anxiously.

There was a pause. "Could I get a veggie burger and fries to go?" Quinn's dry voice came through, carrying a hint of humour if Rachel wasn't mistaken.

Rachel felt her face stretching wide in a smile she couldn't contain as she fiddled with the blanket covering her legs, attempting to this of a suitably humorous reply and coming up with nothing.

"No bacon on top? If I remember correctly, you were firmly devoted to it in high school."

"You're right, but I'm a vegetarian now."

"Oh!" Rachel was surprised. Quinn would have been the last one she expected to go meat free. "Well, I applaud your choice." She felt her spirits sinking a little. It was so easy to forget how little she knew about this new Quinn.

Quinn seemed to sense the change in mood. "Thanks" she said softly. "Anyways, I just wanted to talk to you about the idea you had the other day, about Brittany."

"And?"

"I talked to Chris about it, and we'd like her to come in for an audition."

Rachel fist pumped silently. "Excellent. Shall you ask her or shall I? It would probably be easier for me, as you haven't talked to her yet." Rachel could almost hear the smug satisfaction in her own voice, but she just couldn't help herself.

"You can do it. There's just one thing, though…Do you think we could avoid telling Santana for now?" Quinn asked, a hint of pleading in her voice.

Rachel smirked. _As if. _"Well, I could try, but Brittany will just tell her. I swear, it's like those two are telepathically connected. You can't tell one without the other knowing."

Quinn groaned. "That's what I was afraid of."

* * *

Quinn carefully kept her face calm, but her hands gripped the armrests of the chair Chris had carried her to in the empty theatre audience, betraying her anxiety. She'd been tempted to just skip out and let Chris handle the audition by himself, but it wouldn't have been fair to her friend. They always handled these sorts of situations together, and she wasn't about to stop just because things could get uncomfortable.

Brittany had happily agreed (via Rachel) to come out for an audition. Said audition was due to take place in about, oh, 15 minutes. _Deep breaths._ Quinn had been oscillating between tentative excitement and complete panic over the prospect of seeing her former fellow cheerio. She was currently at the panic stage of the cycle. Trying to avoid hyperventilation, she grasped for something more pleasant to think of. _Pleasant. Right, Rachel. _

Her relationship with the brunette diva had been going rather well recently. Rachel had been more than happy to help out with the Brittany situation, and all of their interactions at practice recently had been pleasant. And yet, Quinn couldn't help thinking about her. Gradually, it was becoming clear that she wanted more than just seeing Rachel for musical related reasons.

It was silly, really. After all, Quinn had been the one to insist that they keep their relationship professional, that she didn't want to dwell on the past. And she didn't. She didn't want to talk about their glory days, or fighting over Finn in high school. Rachel was just so easy to talk to now, much easier than the days when all they ever did was fight over boys. They could talk about clothes, and literature, and food. It was surprising how much they seemed to have in common from the few in depth conversations they'd shared. Quinn had a lot of male friends, but few female friends since high school. That must be it. She just wanted another girl to talk to. _It doesn't hurt that she's gorgeous, and that you've had a crush on her forever. Oh crap._

She was distracted from her musings as Chris finally joined her, sitting to her right and pulling out a pad of paper for taking notes. Quinn glanced down at her watch. _Ten minutes. _

"Are you okay?" Chris asked tentatively. "You look a little green."

She was about to answer the affirmative when she was interrupted by a raspy voice she knew all too well. She may have even suffered a nightmare or two featuring it the night before.

"Well, well, well. Lucy Quinn Fabray. Or should I say, Fabgay?"

Quinn's head snapped to the side, meeting the eyes of one Santana Lopez. Appearance wise, Santana hadn't changed much since high school, other than the obvious lack of cheerios uniform. Black boots and tight jeans framed slim legs and matched the vest she wore. Her hair was pulled back in a tight high ponytail, as if to prepare her for some sort of confrontation. She wore a smirk on her face, but Quinn knew it was just a mask. A mask for what exactly, Quinn couldn't tell.

"Santana" she finally responded. "I'm afraid we'll have to ask you to wait in the lobby until after Brittany's performed." She tried to keep her voice neutral, but it ended up sounding a little strangled.

Santana ignored that comment, casually walking up Quinn's row and flopping down in the seat next to her, putting her feet up on the chairs in front of them. When Quinn looked like she was going to protest, Santana rolled her eyes. "Calm your tits Fabray. I know Brittany's warm up routine, and she's still got 6 minutes to go. I'll get out of your hair before then."

Quinn nodded reluctantly, a little surprised that Santana wasn't giving her more trouble. She could feel tension coming off of the other girl in waves and felt like she should say something, but couldn't think of anything acceptable. _So, how have the past three years been? Sorry about that whole cutting you out of my life thing. Well, this is awkward._

Santana was the one to break the tense silence. "So, I hear you're into girls now?"

Chris, listening curiously, raised his eyebrows. "But I thought you were…?"

"Oh, I'm out. Have been since the douche Rachel and Quinn both dated outed me in our senior year. Real prize, that one. And believe me; I'm not saying I'm surprised that Quinn's gay, I'm just surprised that she finally admitted it."

Now that got Quinn's attention. "Wait, you knew?" She asked incredulously.

"Of course I knew, I have _awesome_ gaydar." Santana said flippantly, examining her nails. "Not that I needed it, you were practically in heat for Berry. Plus, you always did like those Cheerios skirts."

Chris's eyes were practically bulging out of his head. Quinn was still reeling in shock. _Great, now he has definite confirmation that I used to have a crush on Rachel._

"Wait," Chris appeared to recover slightly "Cheerios? Like the breakfast cereal?"

"Yeah," explained Santana "that's what we called the cheerleading squad". At Chris's continued expression of confusion, an evil grin took root on her face. "Wait, did Lucy here not tell you about her cheerleading career?"

Chris's mouth dropped open in horror. "Wait, you were a cheerleader?" He looked at Quinn, seemingly unable to reconcile that new bit of knowledge. "But…you're a vegetarian, and basically a hipster, and…" He trailed off.

Quinn groaned. This was going even worse than she had expected.

Santana wasn't done there. "Oh yeah, we even won the national championships a few times. And that's just the beginning. Quinn was head cheerleader. The three of us, her me and Brittany used to be top of the heap. They even had an evil nickname for us: The Unholy Trinity. And then in second year, she-"

"Shut up!" Quinn cut Santana off, getting seriously angry now. "Santana, you have no right to talk about that!"

"Oh really?" Santana asked angrily "So what do you want to talk about Quinn? Do you want to talk about how you basically abandoned us for three years, cut us out of your life? Hmm?"

Quinn shrugged angrily, trying to avoid eye contact.

Santana continued, going into an angry rant. "You know what? As much as not being able to walk sucks ass, you had no right to do that to us. Nobody was expecting you to come back and be ready to compete at nationals Quinn. We just wanted to know how you were doing. Anything would have been better than nothing. Do you know how worried we were about you?"

Quinn sighed. It was hard to argue with this sort of reasoning. "Look, I've already talked to Rachel about this, and she's come to terms with it, maybe you-"

"Oh you want to talk about Rachel?" Santana's eyes narrowed. "Let me tell you about Rachel. She won't tell you this, because she still thinks the accident was her fault, but she had to go on anti-depression meds because of you! She almost didn't make it to New York-" Santana cut herself off, looking flushed and angry.

Taking several deep breaths, Santana appeared to quiet down slightly. "I didn't mean to do this." She said, almost whispering. Looking at her watch, she nodded softly. "Britt's almost ready. I'll see you after."

With that, she left the room, leaving a shell shocked Quinn and Chris behind. They barely had time to gather themselves before Brittany made her way on stage.

* * *

Santana waited anxiously as a glowing Brittany entered the change room where she was waiting. It wasn't unusual for Santana to accompany Brittany to her dance lessons or auditions on weekends. During the week she had class (pre-law) so this allowed her to maximize their time together as much as possible.

"How'd it go Britt-Britt?" She asked softly, even though she already knew it had been a success. She held out a towel, and Brittany took it, wiping her face gently.

"Great! I had such a good time dancing, and I think Quinn was in the audience. It's hard to tell because of the lights, but I think she looked good. Let's go find her San!" Brittany's eyes shone as she babbled in excitement.

Santana glanced guiltily at the floor. "Maybe you should just go alone. I screwed up."

Brittany immediately understood. "You talked to her already didn't you?" Santana nodded. "What did you say to her San?"

"I was just angry, and she didn't want me talking about the past in front of her friend, and then I got even angrier and exploded on her about abandoning us…and I may have yelled at her about Rachel, and told her about the depression. I meant to just go in there and tell her that she's not the only one who's been hurt, that I'm angry and worried that she didn't get in touch and that she needs to make it up to us, but instead it just turned into this mess of things I shouldn't have said."

Brittany frowned, concerned. "I know you're angry San, but that stuff about Rachel, that wasn't yours to tell. And it's not like Quinn's just been off in rainbow and unicorn land this whole time. I mean, I would have seen her there if she was."

Santana smiled a little. Brittany really was a genius. She walked over and sat beside her girlfriend on the bench, leaning her head on the blond's shoulder. "I know. I shouldn't have brought it up, but at the same time, I think she needs to know and Rachel isn't likely to tell her. I'm going to be apologizing to Rachel for months about this."

Brittany turned her head and used her arm to snuggle Santana a little more firmly into her side. "It sounds like Rachel isn't the only one you'll have to apologize to. What about Quinn?"

Santana sighed. "Sometimes I hate how right you are about everything."

**A/N: This isn't really where I wanted to end the chapter, but it was getting long and I just wanted to post something so I've split it into two parts. What do you guys think? Are you angry with Santana? (I was kind of angry with her but then she was all cuddly with Brittany and I just couldn't keep it up). Any theories about what's going on with Rachel and why she almost didn't make it to New York? You'll find out more in the next chapter. Hopefully I still have a few readers out there :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: The Unholy Trinity (Part II)**

**A/N: Once again, I apologize for not updating as quickly as I should have. At least it wasn't two months this time? *nervous laughter* Thanks again for all of your reviews, favourites, and follows. They really mean the world to me and I wouldn't be able to keep writing without them. One other note – I have a bit of a discussion about mental health in this chapter. I do not claim to be an expert at all and I apologize in advance if anything I have written is inaccurate. Please let me know if you notice anything and I will try to make changes.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing **

"Wow" Chris's eyes were wide are Brittany walked off the stage, her audition finished. He turned to Quinn, eyebrows raised high. "Has she always been that good?"

The audition had been stunning. She made dancing look easy, as if she were simply taking a leisurely stroll rather than executing difficult techniques. Making it even more impressive was the fact that Brittany had choreographed it herself. Quinn quickly realized that she had never seen the full extent of Brittany's potential in high school.

Although she was impressed, if Quinn was being honest with herself, her full attention hadn't really been on the tall blond since the first few minutes of the audition. After quickly assessing the extent of Brittany's skill, she had been unable to keep her mind from wandering back to the Santana's shocking revelation.

_"Let me tell you about Rachel. She won't tell you this, because she still thinks the accident was her fault, but she had to go on anti-depression meds because of you!"_

The feisty Latina's words were on repeat in her head, but she just couldn't seem to process them.

_I knew she thought it was her fault, but I just thought it was Rachel's way of making everything about herself, like she used to. Santana's right, I could have easily at least sent them a letter or a phone call. I need to make this right._

"Quinn?" The blond was jerked back into the present to see Chris staring at her quizzically.

"Sorry, what?"

"Has she always been that good?" When Quinn continued to look puzzled, he specified. "Brittany, I mean."

"Oh. Sorry. I mean, I don't know. I've never seen her dance quite like that before, but it may be that she just never had the chance in high school." Quinn forced her mind away from Rachel and back to Brittany's audition.

"Well, I don't think we're going to get any better options than that. Actually, I was just thinking that it might even be helpful to have her involved with the choreography if she's interested." Chris sounded excited at the prospect.

Quinn smiled softly. "I think you guys will get along quite well. Brittany has one of the most unique minds of anyone I've ever met. She'll surprise you with how insightful she can be."

"As long as you're sure about this. You seem a little dazed, actually. Are you alright? Santana was very…intense."

Quinn rolled her eyes, trying to keep mind in check. "Sorry about that. Like I said, we've never had the most stable relationship. _That's the understatement of the year. _

"Well, you're both very strong willed." Chris pointed out. "And apparently both former cheerleaders…?" He raised his eyebrows.

Quinn sighed. "Not one of my proudest accomplishments."

"Why not? I would have never in a million years pictured you as a cheerleader. But national champions, that's nothing to sneeze at." Chris looked mildly impressed.

"It's not so much the cheer-leading itself as it is everything that went along with the cheer-leading. Holding ourselves up to be objectified by men, feeling like we needed to keep everyone else down to keep ourselves on top. It was empowering at times, but mostly I just wished I could drop the act. Santana and I were constantly stabbing each other in the back to improve our own positions."

"I guess I can see that, I can't imagine you enjoying that sort of thing."

"It was just so exhausting." She thought back to the many times she had ordered jocks to slushy Rachel, hoping that it would disguise her own attraction to the diva. "There were times when I did enjoy it, perhaps a little bit too much. I just wish I didn't let it define me so completely."

"Power hungry huh? And what was that Santana said about skirts? Were they skimpy?" Chris asked teasingly. "I can't imagine you standing for that."

"Oh we wore them. We wore them every day. I'm pretty sure those skirts are solely responsible for my eventual realization that I'm a lesbian."

Chris chucked.

"Except for the boys," Quinn continued. "They had to wear these super tight pants. You should ask Kurt about it."

"Kurt?" Chris gulped, eyes wide.

"He joined for about a year."

"Oh…" Chris trailed off, his eyes glazing over slightly.

"But all joking aside, it kind of sucked. And second year… I don't want to get into it. Anyways," Quinn tried to brush past memories of Beth, feeling herself slipping into the world of what if, "Right now I'm most worried about what Santana said about Rachel."

Chris nodded sympathetically. "I'm surprised; Rachel always seems so in control of her life."

"She is," Quinn asserted. "But she's also much more vulnerable than she lets on. I should have known she would take my disappearance personally." Quinn ran her hands anxiously through her hair "Why am I so selfish? I got angry at her a while back because I didn't want her blaming herself for my bad decisions, but I was just assuming she was being typical Rachel and trying to make everything about herself. I never dreamed that it would pull her down like thatd."

"Quinn, kicking yourself doesn't help anyone at this point." Chris tried to reason with her.

"I know, I just…I just need to know that she's okay now. I don't even know what happened." Quinn felt a surge of determination well up inside her, deciding what to do. "I have to talk to Santana before she leaves. Can you help me back to my chair?"

Chris nodded. It was a familiar routine by now. "Are you sure you want to talk to her again?" he asked. "No lie, I'm a little worried for my safety."

Quinn smiled slightly. "Don't worry, Brittany will be with her this time. Unless things have completely changed since high school, Santana is wrapped around her little finger. Talking to them together is much less dangerous, I promise."

"If you say so." Chris said dubiously.

* * *

Quinn rolled herself out into the lobby, spotting a glowing Brittany and subdued looking Santana standing across the room. She made her way over, Chris following.

"Quinn!" Brittany almost squealed when she saw them, quickly making her way over to Quinn and leaning down to pull the director into a warm hug. "I missed you. San too, even though she won't say so." She pulled back and gave Quinn a quick once over, her initially excitement melting into a pleased smile. "You look delicious."

Brittany's happiness was contagious, and Quinn couldn't help smiling in return.

"So," Quinn said, not wanting to beat around the bush "Chris and I were just discussing your audition, and we'd like to offer you the part. Are you interested?"

Brittany nodded excitedly.

"Great! Chris was just saying that he would love to get your input on some of the choreography as well if you have time. I know you have a job, so we'll have to see what works for your schedule. I have to say Brittany, either you've really improved since high school or your talents were just severely underutilized in glee club."

"Both." Santana cut in. "Nobody in glee club really knew the full extent of Brittany's talents." She gave her girlfriend a proud look.

Brittany looked down bashfully.

Now that Santana had entered the conversation, Quinn had her opportunity. "Santana. Look, I need-"

"Just wait Q." Santana interrupted. "I was talking to Britt and realized that I probably shouldn't have been so harsh earlier. I don't agree with everything you've done, but even I can understand it hasn't been easy."

"Thanks" Quinn replied. "But you were right about some things. I didn't think about how my choices would impact Rachel. What you said, about her needing meds, almost not making it to New York-what were you talking about?"

Santana looked hesitant. "I shouldn't even have told you in the first place, she's going to kill me. I just worry about her, okay?" her voice turned soft. "I know I talk a lot of crap, but I care about her. If you want to know more, you'll have to ask her yourself." She paused. "Oh and if you tell her I was all sappy, I'll totally deny it."

"Deny what?" Quinn was still worried, but it was reassuring to know that Rachel had someone as protective as Santana watching her back.

As Chris and Brittany discussed scheduling details, she pulled out her phone and sent a text to Rachel: _Can we meet for coffee? I need to ask you about something._

* * *

Rachel paid for her soy latte, once again at My Dog Joe after receiving a cryptic message from Quinn. _This is becoming something of a habit. I have to be careful or my curiosity will get the best of me._ Spotting the object of her thoughts already seated at a table in the far corner, Rachel made her way over. The blond had a somewhat pensive look on her face.

"Hey Quinn!" She chirped happily. "You wanted to meet?" she sat down across the table from the blonde.

"Rachel." Quinn acknowledged. "Thanks for coming."

"Is everything okay?" Rachel asked. "You looked worried, and not that I'm complaining but I didn't expect to get these sort of meetings to become a habit."

Quinn sighed, and Rachel could help notice the prominence of worry lines on her forehead. It didn't make her any less beautiful, but something was definitely weighing the other girl down.

"Is there a problem with the musical?" Rachel asked, not starting to feel a little anxious on her own. "Because I'd be happy to put in some extra time, and-"

"It's not the musical." Quinn interrupted. "Well, not really. Brittany came for her audition today. She brought Santana with her."

Rachel felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. "What did she say? Do I have to get angry with her and defend your honour?" she tried to ask the question playfully, but it came out strained.

"No, nothing like that. Things were tense but it was nothing I wasn't expecting." She took a deep breath. "But she told me some things, and…" she trailed off, looking down. "Why didn't you tell me how hard it was for you after the accident?" Her voice trembled as she looked up again, meeting Rachel's eyes.

A burst of anger flared up inside of Rachel. _How dare she? _"What did she tell you?" she asked, a little panicked.

"I-"

"What did she tell you Quinn? Because she had no right, no right I tell you. That woman has no sense of personal boundaries. You know what; I think I need to give her a piece of my mind right now." She took out her cell phone and started furiously typing an angry text message for Santana. She was mid word when a cool hand reached over and lay over hers, pushing the cell phone down towards the table.

"Rachel, stop." Quinn said, gently but firmly.

Rachel decompressed a little, the soothing coolness of the other girl's hands calming her down. She was momentarily distracted by the softness of Quinn's hands against hers, the tingling feeling where they connected. She only jolted back out of the trance when Quinn spoke.

"I don't know much. We were arguing and I asked her why she couldn't accept what I'd done since you have and she mentioned that you had to go on to anti-depressants after the accident, that you almost didn't make it to New York. That's all I know."

"I see." Rachel stalled for time as she tried to process it all. _I'm not going to be able to brush this off._

Quinn beat her to it. "I know I have no right to demand this sort of information, but I at least had to make sure that you're okay now." Her eyes were earnest, boring deep into Rachel's. "Are you?"

She looked so vulnerable and soft across the table that Rachel wanted to reach out and poke her, to confirm if this was really Quinn. She settled for turning her hand upright, clasping Quinn's gently where it still sat on top of her own. Her phone she set to the side.

Rachel could feel her heart thumping steadily, partially due to their clasped hands but also due to the topic of conversation. _Damn that woman. She knows I hate talking about this stuff, that I would never tell Quinn on my own. But I have to offer some sort of explanation or she'll think it's her fault. Just look at her. She's so soft and vulnerable. I have to be careful. _

Now that she had decided upon a course of action, Rachel braced herself and started talking. "I'm fine Quinn. I keep track of my mental wellbeing much more thoroughly now than I did in the past. I am not taking any medication at the moment, and I am confident that if anything does happen in the future, I will know what resources to use."

"I'm so sorry that I caused this to happen to you." Quinn said, downcast.

Rachel smiled softly. When the blonde looked confused, she explained, "Remember when you told me not to make your accident all about myself, because it wasn't? Now I get to tell you the same thing. The world doesn't revolve around you either. I felt guilty about you, yes. But there were also a multitude of other factors at play. I had flubbed my NYADA audition and was naive enough to not have a backup plan; I had just broken up with Finn. I didn't know what I was doing, where I was going anymore. It felt like I didn't have a future."

"What happened?"

"I became withdrawn, barely involved in glee, spent days listlessly in my bed. All of that endless ambition I had before was gone. Thankfully, Santana and Kurt noticed and tried to get me back out of my shell. After a lot of effort on their part, they got me to see a therapist, and he put me on some anti-depressants. I was able to recover in time for Nationals. I got a re-do of my audition into NYADA at the same time."

"You would turn my own words against me." Quinn said dryly, looking a little more settled now. "So your depression is gone? You are okay now, right?"

Rachel shrugged a little helplessly. "I'm afraid it's not quite that simple. That's not the type of thing I can give you a yes or no answer for. I _can_ tell you what the doctor told me: mental health is a spectrum, and everyone has their bad days, weeks, months or years. I'm off medication now, but that doesn't mean I'll never have to use it again. I had another minor bout of depression at the end of my first year at NYADA. But I'm not ashamed to ask for help anymore, so I am confident that I can deal with whatever else comes my way." Rachel her been looking steadily into Quinn's eyes while explaining the situation. The other girl looked thoughtful, though still a little down.

"That seems like a healthy way to look at it." Quinn squeezed Rachel's help in hers, and then pulled back reluctantly. "I'm sorry I kind of freaked out. I just didn't like the idea of causing you so much pain, even if it wasn't my entire fault. I guess I understand where you were coming from about the accident a little better now."

Rachel smiled "Santana was right, I probably wouldn't have told you on my own. I'm glad I did though, now that it's out. I'm sorry if she was a little rude, she and Kurt have become a little overly protective of me in the last few years. It's quite sweet most of the time, but occasionally it gets out of control."

"I would expect no less from Santana Diablo Lopez." Quinn shook her head and smiled. "To tell you the truth, it was kind of refreshing to talk to someone who wasn't afraid of upsetting me just because of, you know." She gestured downwards at her chair. "I was pretty mad at first though. She almost told Chris about second year."

Rachel didn't have to ask for clarification. "It's okay to say it you know. To say her name."

"I haven't talked about her in three years." Quinn said softly. "Beth. That doesn't mean I don't think about her every day. What she looks like, what she's doing, how her personality has developed."

"Do you want to know? I could tell you what I know."

"I don't know." Quinn looked torn. "Part of me thinks I'm better avoiding the topic entirely."

"Well, you don't have to decide now." Rachel pointed out. "Let me know when you want to talk about it. You know I'm here for you."

"I do." Quinn looked Rachel straight in the eyes. "I really do."

"Good." Rachel smiled. "And I know it's not my place to tell you what to do, but I feel I should point out that Chris would undoubtedly be supportive of you in this matter. I'm not saying you have to tell him, just if you would rather discuss it with him I don't think he would judge."

"You're right, he wouldn't." was all Quinn said, but Rachel didn't think she looked convinced.

"I'm not going to push; I just thought I should suggest the possibility. It's apparent that this is not a suitable topic for conversation at the moment, so…how was your week so far?"

Quinn gave her a grateful look. "Actually, not bad. Santana drama aside, we're pretty excited to have Brittany on board for the show. I underestimated how talented she is."

Rachel nodded in agreement. "I could not agree more. I've always said that she's the only reason I've managed to pass all of my NYADA dance classes. It's not my strong suit. Brittany just has a way, with dance and with people."

"True. It's weird though. I always knew she was talented, in the back of my mind. But I never really understood how talented until now."

"Brittany was never really given a chance to shine in glee, I think I can take part of the blame for that." Rachel said wryly.

"Don't be too hard on yourself. She was also a more talented cheerleader than Santana or I, but she didn't tend to be featured as much because she wasn't as aggressive."

"I suppose we're all to blame then." Rachel chuckled a little. She was glad to see that Quinn looked much happier than she had a few minutes ago. Some of the sparkle had returned to her eyes.

"Yeah." Quinn took a deep breath. "Look, Rachel…"

"Yes?"

"I really enjoy it when we can just talk like this. I know I was the one to insist on keeping things professional, so I can't blame you if you don't want to, but I'd like us to be friends again, spend time together outside of practice. I can't promise that I'll always be able to or want to talk about high school, but I'm tired of making excuses to myself about something that seems this inevitable."

Rachel could practically feel herself glowing. "I would love that Quinn. And I know dealing with the past is difficult. You can always talk to me about it, but if you don't want to, I'm happy to live in the present."

"I was hoping you'd say that. I'm sorry about…everything."

"Me too."

Quinn let out a deep breath, looking more than a little relieved. "So," she said, sounding much brighter now "As my newly reconfirmed friend, I was wondering if you might want to join me and Santana and Brittany for dinner tonight?"

Rachel gasped in mock anger. "Quinn Fabray. You did not just ask me to dinner so I could act as another buffer between you and Santana."

"Absolutely not." Quinn said, a sly grin on her face.

"You're lucky you're pretty." Rachel said, teasing. Her voice turned soft and serious. "I would love to come."

**A/N: So, are you guys excited for Quinn and Rachel to spend a little more quality time? There will be more angst in their future, but at least they're off to a good start. What do you guys think about Rachel's past? Anything you want to happen when they have dinner with Brittana next chapter? Please feel free to let me know any thoughts you have about the chapter, positive or negative. I'm always looking to improve J**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Between A Rock And A Hard Place**

**A/N: Hey guys! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter, that's the most I've gotten so far and it was really great to get so much feedback. Also thanks for the follows/favourites/views – even if you are too shy or too busy to leave a review I appreciate you taking the time to read my story.**

**I apologise for yet another long wait between chapters, I had some depressing news and was less motivated to write for a while, but hopefully I should be back into the swing of things now J Do not worry, I will see this story through to the end! Also I just wanted to give a big shout out to Jaely, who has given me a ton of useful advice about wheelchairs for this and future chapters. I will probably still make mistakes and portray some things inaccurately, but if I happen to do anything right, it's probably because of her advice.**

**One last thing - I now have a tumblr account! I'm at politicaljunk92 . tumblr (remove spaces). I mostly use it to fangirl about stuff, but feel free to shoot me an ask if you have any questions. I will also post my updates on there, which might be useful if you don't have a fanfiction account. **

**Whew that was a loonnng note *wipes away sweat* On with the chapter!**

Rachel smiled happily at Santana and Brittany across the table, choosing to ignore (for the moment) the tension the crackled between Santana and Quinn, who sat beside her.

Brittany and Santana had chosen an Italian restaurant that bore a suspicious resemblance to Breadsticks back in Lima. They sat at a rectangular table rather than a bench, allowing Quinn to pull up her chair. Still, it was a little crowded.

Rachel sent a shy smile towards Quinn, who was so far showing remarkable restraint in her response to Santana's multitude of probing questions. She wore a polite smile, but Rachel could see wrinkles forming on her forehead as she tried to maintain her demeanor. The diva pushed down the urge to reach over and smooth the wrinkles away with her fingers.

"No cheeseburgers Q, but I'm sure you'll find something else to your liking on the menu, right?" Santana teased, sipping on her water as they waited browsed through their menus.

Quinn and Rachel exchanged looks. "Actually, I'm a vegetarian now." Quinn said, a little reluctantly.

"Seriously?" Santana's eyebrows almost disappeared into her hairline. "Is this your way of trying to fit in with the lesbian community or something? Take my advice, it's not necessary."

"What San's trying to say is that you can like sausage without liking sausage. She knows what she's talking about." Brittany nodded emphatically, face serious.

Quinn started coughing uncontrollably, some water apparently having gone down the wrong tube. Rachel, used to Brittany's sometimes off colour remarks, ran her hand soothingly down the other girl's back until her cough subsided.

"Uh, thanks guys, but it's not about that." Quinn said finally, having gotten her lungs under control and chuckling a little. "It's just a choice I decided to make after doing a lot of thought on the matter while I was recovering from the accident."

Rachel couldn't stop herself from beaming at the other girl. _So mature. _"The vegetarian and vegan selections are on page six." she said in a conspiratorial tone, leaning over towards Quinn.

"Recovery, now _that's_ an interesting topic. How long did that take?" Santana questioned bluntly.

"It's not something I can put a definitive number to, it's complicated." Quinn fidgeted with her glass, looking uncomfortable.

Rachel sent a glare across the table but Santana would not be put off.

"Really? Why's that? You never did tell us what you injuries were."

"Santana!" Rachel scolded, prepared to fight tooth and nail if that's what it took to preserve Quinn's privacy. She looked over at Quinn, expecting the other girl to be clamming up. She was surprised to see that Quinn looked relatively calm, if still somewhat uncomfortable.

"It's okay Rachel." Quinn soothed. She took a deep breath. "There were a few broken bones that needed to heal, and obviously the spinal cord injury that paralyzed me. I can't feel anything from mid-thigh down. I was pretty much recovering right up until I came to New York, and even then I wasn't as comfortable with my chair as I am now. I almost didn't come."

"Is that why you didn't go to Yale?" Rachel asked, curious despite her earlier determination to protect Quinn's privacy. "You couldn't make the decision until too late?"

Quinn shook her head. "I had already made the decision that I wasn't going to Yale. If I was going to be on my own, I wanted to go somewhere with more transportation options."

Santana's mind appeared to be on what Quinn had said earlier. "Mid-thigh down. So does that mean you can still have se- oww!" she exclaimed, looking over at Brittany, who was smiling innocently at her. "That hurt!"

Quinn chuckled quietly but looked nervous about where Santana had been going with that question.

To be honest, Rachel was curious about it as well, but for such a sensitive topic she would rather push down her questions until Quinn felt comfortable enough to tell her willingly. The diva laughed nervously, mind rapidly searching for a way to change the topic.

"It's nice to know that some things don't change right?" She directed the question towards Quinn, gesturing towards Santana. "You should have seen her when they were separated. Completely inconsolable." _Let's see how you like it when the conversation shifts to things you don't want to talk about, Santana. _

"I have no idea what you're talking about." A light blush covered Santana's cheeks.

Rachel breathed a silent sigh of relief as conversation shifted to safer topics, such as Quinn's plans for Spamalot and the antics of Brittany's students. She couldn't help notice that there was still a slight tension between Santana and Quinn, but in spite of that it was pleasant to just sit and chat, almost like old times. As they waited for their meals to arrive, she was surprised at how content she was to just sit quietly and watch Quinn, occasionally contributing to the conversation but mostly just distracted by way she talked, and gestured with her long slender hands.

Just talking like this, it was so easy to forget and just go back. To pretend that they were still in high school, at Breadsticks for some glee bonding time. If she squinted she could almost see the Cheerios uniforms.

"Rachel?" she was knocked out of her remembering haze by Quinn looking at her questioningly.

"Yes Quinn?"

"Are you going to eat?"

Rachel looked down, surprised to see that her pasta had arrived and was sitting in front of her, steaming deliciously.

"Are you okay? You looked like you were a million miles away there for a moment." Quinn asked, looking concerned.

Rachel nodded, "I apologize if it seemed like I wasn't paying attention, I assure you I-"

She was interrupted as a passerby tripped over Quinn's chair, knocking her forward into the table and causing her iced tea to tip over, most of the drink sloshing into her lap. As Quinn grabbed for a napkin to clean up, the man righted himself and walked on, seemingly unaware of what had happened.

"Hey, asshole!" Santana face was turning red with anger. "Watch where you're going next time!" But the man had already the restaurant, obviously unaware that she was yelling at him. "Who does he think he is?" Santana stood up, obviously intending to go after him.

"Santana, don't." Quinn said quietly, having mopped up as much of her drink as she could. "It's not a big deal." A well placed look in Brittany's direction had the other girl pulling Santana back down to her chair, still fuming.

Rachel was torn. While naturally inclined against violence, she couldn't believe that someone could be so willingly unaware of their surroundings. He should have at least stopped and apologized. It wouldn't have taken much.

"Here." She handed Quinn her napkins. "Do you want to go to the bathroom and clean up? I think I have an extra skirt in my bag." Rachel had a tendency for carrying around extra clothes, probably a throwback of her slushy days in high school.

"It's fine Rachel."

"Are you absolutely certain? I'll go retrieve it now-"

"Rachel." Quinn interrupted her. "It's fine. I probably can't use the bathrooms here anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"It's a small restaurant, that's why he tripped over me in the first place. I would be shocked if it had wheelchair friendly bathrooms."

The thought hadn't even occurred to Rachel. "I'll check." She said, getting up. Surely any decent establishment would have them. Finding the sign to the ladies room, she made her way inside. Two cramped looking stalls that didn't seem likely to even fit Quinn's chair through the door greeted her. Biting her lip in frustration, she made her way back to the table.

"You were correct, unfortunately. The facilities have inadequate space for your chair," she said, feeling defeated and a little angry. "I feel I should make a formal complaint to the manager about this. In this day and age, to be lacking-"

"Rachel, stop. I'm barely damp." Quinn said, holding up a hand. "Finish your meal, okay?"

Across the table, Santana nodded. "Going full on diva on some poor manager's ass isn't going to solve the problem. Finish your gross vegan pasta before it gets cold."

Rachel looked down at her meal, which suddenly didn't look nearly as appealing as it did 10 minutes ago. Her appetite completely gone, she decided to have it boxed up. Looking over at Quinn, she felt a spike of curiosity. "Doesn't it bother you?" she asked tentatively.

"What?" Quinn asked. "The washrooms? It's what I would expect at a place like this Rachel, don't worry about it."

"It's not right." Rachel huffed.

Quinn shrugged, rolling her eyes. "If I got mad every time something like this happened I'd always be angry. These people aren't being intentionally malicious, they just don't think about it. Can you honestly say that you would if you didn't know me, or Artie?"

"Maybe not, but that still doesn't make it right."

_It doesn't make me right. I've been pretending that her chair doesn't exist the whole evening, or wishing it anyways. Quinn doesn't deserve that. _On one hand she knew that Quinn didn't want to be defined by her chair, but on the other hand just ignoring it was also a disservice. She sighed,, feeling a headache coming on.

* * *

Quinn looked up at Rachel as they made their way down the street away from the restaurant. Brittany and Santana had left a few minutes earlier, heading back to their apartment for the night.

It was surprising how pleasant the evening had been. Sure, there had been a few tense moments, like when Santana almost asked about her sex life, but as a whole it had been good to catch up. It was nice to see that Santana was as whipped as ever. Seeing her and Brittany so happy together after all this time gave her hope somehow.

The whole iced tea spilling incident had been a little embarrassing, but more because of the way Rachel and Santana reacted to it than the fairly minimal damage it did to her clothing. Rachel had been fairly quiet ever since, picking at her meal before having it boxed up. It may have been a while, but Quinn's high school experience still told her that a quiet, pensive Rachel was not a good sign. That combined with the story of Rachel's fight against depression still lingering in the back of her mind and she couldn't help but worry about the other girl.

"Are you okay? You've been pretty quiet."

"I'm quite fine thank you Quinn; I was just lost in my thoughts."

"Sounds dangerous." Quinn teased.

Rachel smiled weakly. "I suppose."

"Do you have plans for the rest of the evening? I was thinking we could watch a movie at my apartment and catch up a little more now that Santana and Brittany are gone."

"I would love to. I know they mean well, but it's a little exhausting to have them around all the time, isn't it?" Rachel looked over at Quinn questioningly. "Would you like some assistance? You must be tired." She gestured towards the handles on Quinn's chair.

"I can take care of myself." Quinn answered, somewhat defensively. When Rachel looked a little hurt at her abrupt statement, she quickly added "Not that I don't appreciate it, I just like to be in control."

Rachel nodded, her face relaxing slightly. "I remember."

Quinn smiled in acknowledgement. "So, what movie do you want to watch?"

Rachel smiled. "Do you have any musicals?"

Quinn groaned.

* * *

Quinn opened the door to her apartment, letting herself and Rachel inside. On the subway ride home, they had decided to watch Mama Mia for their evening's entertainment.

"Make yourself at home." She gestured towards the couch. "Would you like something to drink? I have beer, wine…"

"Oh, I wouldn't want to impose." Rachel hesitated.

"Rachel." Quinn shook her head. "You're not imposing, I'm offering. I don't know what you like though, I only ever saw you drink coolers in high school."

Rachel chuckled. "And we all remember how that turned out. I can't believe I tried to date Blaine."

"Well, just think of it this way, it could have been worse." Quinn said knowingly. "You could have gotten pregnant." When Rachel looked surprised that she had brought the subject up, she added "I'm still not sure if I want to talk about her, and I certainly don't regret having her, but I can say that I haven't touched a cooler since high school."

They both had a good chuckle over that. Quinn never thought the day would come when she'd be able to laugh about this sort of thing with Rachel Berry of all people.

"Fine, fine." Rachel said eventually when they calmed down. "Wine it is."

As Quinn went to the kitchen to get glasses she noticed Rachel watching her anxiously from the couch.

"Rachel, it's okay." She said dryly. "The kitchen is arranged so I can reach everything I need."

"Sorry." Rachel said quietly, looking apologetic.

Quinn sighed. She could see they were going to have to nip this in the bud before it got out of hand. She made her way back to the living room, setting the bottle and two wine glasses on the coffee table.

"Are you okay Rachel?" She asked. "You've been quiet since I spilled my drink earlier. Forgive me if I point out that it's a little out of character for you."

Rachel sighed. "I know you don't want me to make a fuss, but I can't stop thinking about the bathrooms at the restaurant and that man that bumped into you."

Quinn had suspected as much. Wheeling over in front of the couch where Rachel was sitting, she reached out and grasped the other girl's hands gently in her own.

"Hey, it's alright. It's actually really sweet that you and Santana were so quick to come to my defense. I just don't want something small like that to ruin the evening."

"I know it was minor. It's not even about that, if I'm being honest." At Quinn's questioning look, she explained "It made me realize how many problems people cause for you by just ignoring your chair, or by not thinking about it. They're not being purposely rude, they're just…careless. Then I realized that I've been doing the same thing, and I know you don't deserve to have your chair ignored, but I also don't want to think of you only in terms of your chair." She finished in a rush, looking uncertain. "How do I find that balance?"

Quinn smiled. Such a typical Rachel move to become so conflicted about something like this. The sweetness of Rachel's earnest, serious face filled up her heart, overflowing until she could hardly contain it.

She chuckled. "You're overthinking things a little Rachel. If you don't know what to do, just ask. I'll be honest, I generally prefer to do things on my own if at all possible, and I can't promise that I won't get angry or frustrated about that sometimes. But, I would be foolish to pretend that it doesn't limit me at all, and I appreciate it when people take that into account. Just don't think you have to hover over me all the time. If I need help, I'll ask for it."

Rachel looked slightly doubtful at the part about Quinn asking for help if she needed it, but nodded and relaxed slightly. Quinn had a feeling that they hadn't seen the last of this conversation.

"I always overcomplicate things, don't I?"

"You wouldn't be Rachel Berry if you didn't" Quinn smiled, letting go of Rachel's hands reluctantly. "So, shall we?" She held up the Mama Mia DVD, which she had picked up on her way to the living room.

Rachel clapped excitedly then patted the sofa beside her. "We just said I need to ask questions right? So do you use the sofa or stay in your chair?"

Quinn hesitated. The truth was that she normally just stayed in her chair, it was easier than transferring back and forth. On the other hand, the idea of snuggling up next to Rachel with some wine was _very_ tempting. _Oh wow. Dangerous thoughts. But what's a movie night without some snuggling? I would snuggle with Chris if he was here, and we're just friends. _

"I can do either. Here, I'll join you." She wheeled up beside the couch and used her arms to transfer herself. It took a few minutes, but she eventually managed to maneuver herself so she was sitting near the end of the couch, Rachel just a few feet away.

The other girl watched curiously as Quinn went through the whole process. "Is that difficult?" she asked.

Quinn shrugged. "A little, yes. Much better than it used to be though, it took me quite a while to learn it and build up enough strength in my arms."

Rachel passed her a glass of wine and they started the movie. The next few hours were some of the most enjoyable Quinn could remember having in quite some time. Rachel insisted that they sing along to every song, and she wasn't happy unless Quinn gave it her all as well. Quinn had forgotten how much fun just singing with friends could be. The fact that she'd had a few glasses of wine didn't hurt.

Over the course of the movie, Rachel had been inching over towards Quinn, until her body was pressed against the other girl's side. As the credits rolled, Quinn could see Rachel's eyes drooping. She patted her lap and Rachel lay her head in it. Their eyes met briefly before Rachel's dropped closed.

Quinn chuckled. The other girl made the most adorable little snoring noises while she slept. She gently brushed a few strands of Rachel's silky brown hair out of her face. She was fascinated by the smoothness of her skin and ran a fingertip lightly across her cheek. Belatedly, she realized that she shouldn't have encouraged Rachel to sleep, as she was now stuck in this position. She decided to wait a few minutes, enjoying the gentle warmth of the other girl snuggled up to her.

A few minutes later she was saved the task when Rachel snorted and woke herself up.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't think I would fall asleep…" She sat up, leaving Quinn cold. "Thank you for the lovely evening Quinn. I cannot remember when I've last enjoyed myself so much."

"My pleasure." Quinn said, watching as Rachel gathered up her things.

"Good night Quinn." Rachel headed towards the door, waving.

"Good night Rachel." Quinn smiled, feeling a little giddy.

Once the door was shut behind her however, reality began to set in. She couldn't believe how quickly Rachel had managed to worm her way back into Quinn's heart. It was different from high school, more mature, but somehow the same all at once.

_I'm so screwed._

* * *

**A/N: So what did you guys think? Was the sausage joke too much? I had to write it once I'd thought of it, I have no self-control :P What do you think about Rachel's reaction in the restaurant? Are you surprised Quinn's letting her in so quickly? Quinn certainly is, and you'll probably see some backlash from that soon. Let me know your thoughts!**


End file.
